TEABAG part 9

“They’re not as good as the real Sid and Arthur are they?” Gunby said quietly, so he would not upset the colonel or colour sergeant.


Now the normal Sid and Arthur would either hear my thoughts or read what I was writing, but these two seemed oblivious to my ways.


“Well, I suppose I’ll have to order Chatteris to get under way,” thought Arthur. He waddled up to the bridge.
“What are you waddling for Colonel?” asked Plattington, who was trying to detach a metal man’s arm from the railing around the airship.
“Er, I’m not waddling, I’m careening,” Arthur tried to straighten his gait but still seemed to waddle.
“He’s suffering from cognitive dissonance,” observed Tresham.
“?” ?ed Gunby.
“He’s lying to himself, he’s waddling like a drunken emperor penguin on a tossing ship with an egg between its legs.”
“That’s a lot of waddling, maybe his trousers are coming down, you know a bit like Bert in Mary Poppins.”
“His belt was damaged when that metal man grabbed it.”
“I didn’t see that?”
“Well I didn’t really, but I just had the urge to say it, like the Author had just thought of it to fill in a plot hole.”
“Ahh!” ahhed Gunby.
They both nodded in agreement.


They were underway again and getting closer to their objective. On the outskirts of Tarrelo they were greeted with the view of millions of house and streetlights twinkling away.
“It’s a good job it’s not foggy,” thought Chatteris to Plattington, “it would be difficult to navigate in the dark and in the fog.”
As if somebody had heard him and thought it might be a good twist, a pea souper fell.
“What was that?” inquired Sid, “it sounded like a bowl of pea soup falling somewhere.”
“No, I don’t think so Sid,” imparted Robo Sid, “I think the Author was describing the appearance of the sudden fog that has just manifested.”
“I don’t have to check the manifest now do I? I only did a stock taking check a few paragraphs back.”
“You don’t really seem to have this 4th wall listening to the Author thing down to pat yet do you? Not like the real Sid.”
“No, I suppose I don’t. Do you think it’s because I’m a clone?”
“You should’ve been a clown instead, you might have been funnier.”
Robo Arthur came up to them, “How are they going to get there in this pea souper?”
“Compass and landmarks?” suggested Robo Sid.
“I wonder which landmarks I can see?” wondered the sergeant as he tried to look out over the railings.