The Arth Series

The Arth Series
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Sunday, 28 December 2014

TEABAG part 28

“Well it is in code,” explained Tresham, who was defending his friend, “So maybe you have to skip some of the letters or words, based on a number or group of numbers.”
“A skip code?”
“I know a skip code,” smiled Sid. “I saw a man eat biscuits,
He ate them off the floor,
He covered them in Kerosene,
And sucked them off the floor,
His name was Ooh Aaah Flibbity,
Gibbet Gingivitis Tom,
Scumble Doody Flooby Doo,
And his middle name was John.”

“That’s not a skip code,” derided Arthur, “it’s a skipping rhyme.”
“But wouldn’t it be funny, “he thought, “if that was the cryptographic key] ?”
Arthur gave the book to Gunby, “Try it.”
Gunby was nonplussed because he didn’t understand what his commanding officer was talking about.
Seeing the half giant’s confusion Arthur tried to explain, “What you need to do is say the rhyme, in Hoo, and see if the metre or words match up with the words of the recipe.”
“I don’t understand what you mean, and I don’t know the rhyme off by heart. Do you expect me to be a code breaker within a couple of minutes or something?”
Sid interrupted, “He could compliment the Author, like the real Sid and Arthur do, to be able to break it?”
This was not to Arthur’s taste so he decided, “No, we’ll try to break it ourselves, and nobody tries to sneakily compliment the Author, that’s an order!” He looked at Gunby, “Read us the recipe.”
Beginning to read the half giant began, “A flub and a flue of flour…”
“Arthur interrupted, “A flub and a flue?”
“About a cup and ¾. Then it goes on to say a tang of water… which is around 7-8 oz of water.”
“Good,” he then spoke to Plattington, “You write this down.”
“In flubs and flues or in cups and ounces?” asked the corporal/bombardier.
Sid mimicked him quietly, “In clubs and queues, where the big man bounces.”
“Both!” wanted Arthur.
“Well Gunby’ll have to go a bit slower then,” asked Plattington.
The colonel nodded at Gunby to slow down.
“And read it again so’s I can get it down.”
Gunby looked at Plattington, then the code book. “A… flub… and… flue… of… flour… of… flour…” He glanced down at Plattington to see him writing it down with his notepad.
(How can we get through this without being too boring but also funny?)
Sid heard my thought and spoke to me, “I could do a funny routine and by the time it’s finished they could be finished.”
“But it should really be linked to the bread recipe etc.”
“I can do a few code puns.”
“Or you could have a daydream sequence, that’s also a bit surreal.”
“What kind of dream sequence?”
“On a river?”
“So, do I have a wife, like the real Sid?”
“What difference does that make to the dream?”

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