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Thursday, 28 February 2013

Rigging the book charts

I wrote 1,000 words of The Tower, that is now a quarter of the way through. Wrote about 300 words of The 24 and finished it. Now need to type it all in and proof read it. At Starbucks, while having a coffee for my daughter's birthday, I drew three figures that might be part of the cover for The 24.

So today's memorable news item was... Well there were two. The first is nurses funded by pharmaceutical companies but working for the NHS. Some of them seem to be pushing NHS patients into buying the products of the companies that fund them, pushing up the NHS bill. The other is Authors in America paying $50,000 for a company to buy their books one at a time to get them up to the number one spot in the book charts. It's nice to know that Authors have 50k in the bank to be able to rig the charts with. Rig the charts sounds a bit like a sailor having to use his maps as a replacement for the sails.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013


I typed in 1,200 ish words of the end of The 24 today, so that I could print it out and work on it. It doesn't sound too bad. Tried to do a bit of writing but was too tired, did about 100 words of not so good stuff. Still haven't been able to finish the cover for OWIA14, I might have to put it on with yellow sections still showing through.

John at Starbucks in Monk's Cross said somebody's name today and I thought he was speaking in Klingon.

It is my daughter's birthday tomorrow, so a Starbucks again. Let's hope I can wake up enough and have done enough writing at uni in the morning.

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

No Time

I had no time to write today, or draw. I did however look at the last 1,000 words I had written yesterday and was pleased with them. As pleased as punch. Did they mean Punch or that someone had punched you in the face?

Monday, 25 February 2013


Wrote 750 words of The 24 today. It is just about finished. I don't know whether to add to it. There is a final battle to do, but that will only be about 1,000 words. So the total book word count will be about 26,000 words or so. I was hoping to get to 28,000 words but I am loath to add anything more just to get the word count up. Get the word count up, that sounds like a member of the nobility who is an etymologist taking a lift to the top floor.

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Triple A?

Managed to write 250 words of the 24 today bringing the total nearly up to 25,000 words. Also wrote 500 words of The Tower where we see Kendra, Chelnuk and Nimen considering an attack on a tower manned by giants. Haven't finished the cover for OWIA 13 or 14.

Britain has lost its triple A rating. So now it's just AA. Now is that Alcoholics Anonymous or the Automobile Association. Does Britain stand up in front of the rest of the world community and confess it has an addiction problem or does it ask for help from a service that can fix cars?

Friday, 22 February 2013

A slight headache.

Woke with a headache and didn't have to go to uni with my wife. Worked on the FOA picture for the fifth cover. Having to redraw the robots at the back of the picture. I think I will just reverse the colours on the red one for the fourth cover. Got up to #5 in the short story sci fi charts today. So I didn't do any of the 24 today. Still have a slight headache.

A slight headache sounds like having to babysit while the boss wants you in a meeting. Now a larger headache would be knowing  that if you took your child into the meeting with you your boss would definitely sack you. And I don't mean that American football term either. Although your boss running at you and tackling you to the floor in front of your stunned child could be quite funny.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

Nearly there

I managed to write 1,000 words today of The 24 at all Hallows church in Leeds. When I got home I worked on the cover for OWIA13 or 14. I only have 8 days left to finish the last 2 promotions.

I also started to think about another short story possibly called The Tower, where Kendra defeats a giant overlord.

I am a lark, not at all meaning I am a little songbird, but funny.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Better Shape

I managed to proof read the fifth and final part of Factory of Androids. I also rewrote the blurbs for FOA 10 and 12. Maybe people won't download my free stuff then slate it because they don't get the humour now. I also hand wrote another 500 words of The 24, it is very exciting and my writing was a bit rushed and untidy.

Unemployment is down again, due to more people taking part time jobs and more people getting Family Tax Credit to supplement their incomes. Just one of the lies the Government uses to make things seem as right as rain. So Fat Cats can get rich by paying just over minimum wage, meaning that their workers have to supplement their income with FTC. Then, as my old boss did, he sold the company and pocketed a couple of million. Now if he had paid proper wages and not been subsidised by the Government then maybe the economy would be in better shape.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

A small jumble sale

I proof read Factory of Androids 4 in three sessions. I might need to edit it a little because it is a little jumbled, like doing a small jumble sale. OWIA 12 promotion should go live tomorrow at 7 am UK time.

So I appear to be having a bit of a holiday, my son is on holiday so we don't have to take him into college and my wife was poorly today so we didn't go to uni. Once I have proof read FAO 5 tomorrow I have finished it and need to be getting on with the 24. (I also need to do 2 more covers.)

Monday, 18 February 2013

To be or not a writer

I proof read two thirds of Factory of Androids 5 before I realised I was supposed to be proof reading FAO 3. Also found that I had not typed in about 250 words of part three and did so. I have put it on amazon for tomorrow. I think it was on Saturday that I got a one star review for Factory of androids 1. Both people who have given me a one star review never read the book properly and obviously didn't have my sense of humour. As I have said before some people find them hilarious and some people don't get them. Not only that but the two of them downloaded the books for FREE! If they had had to pay for them then they wouldn't have given me any reviews let alone a bad one!!!

Saturday, 16 February 2013


I managed to type in the last 2,000 words of Factory of Androids. On Monday I will need to be able to proof read part three and put it on Amazon. Went to Jolablot with my wife and grandkids. I think I first went over twenty years ago. There was no battle in the York eye, only a skirmish. My grand daughter was most pleased when they all came back to life! The two 'Viking' ladies kept forgetting they were vikings and I managed to get them talking about Star Wars and the Matrix (while they were sewing their woolen caps.) Also spoke to a high mason from California called Pete, let's hope he likes my books!

Friday, 15 February 2013


Managed to type in 1,500 words today on my wife's iPad at Leeds university, most of it in the Emmanuel Centre. Started work on the ideas for another Time Backwater type story explaining how the seven dimensions came to be. I was discussing with Matt from the Chaplaincy what I could use in the news for a funny or witty comment. We were all amazed at the meteor that fell in Russia and the one that is only 17,000 miles from the earth. Still didn't come up with anything funny though. Also met a guide who came from Louth. I told her I had won a disco dancing competition there 30 years ago. In fact the trophy I got from that little town was BIGGER than the one I eventually ended up with for winning the European Championships! I was Louth to say anything else after that!

Thursday, 14 February 2013


I managed to type in about 1,000 of FOA short story 4. When I got home I jiggled it around into the right order and have now finished it. Need to proof read it properly though. Also typed in 200 words of FOA short story 5, need to finish that tomorrow. Wrote 400 words of The 24. I have set up Kindle Select for Only When I Arth 11 for tomorrow morning.

I started to write a list of all the things I could make a comment about. It is in my bag at the moment. the biggest story is of the paralympic runner who shot his partner. He says he thought she was a thief, the police say they don't believe him. I have just watched the Mentalist, I wonder if he could figure it out? A few cups of coffee and reading of body language. Voila! Or should I say Violet (s) are blue, carnations are pink, I think his alibi, it does stink!

Wednesday, 13 February 2013


So I began today by typing in about 800 words of Factory of androids 4. But my headache got too bad, so I took some tablets then eventually went to bed with a hot water bottle. I have now typed in 1,500 words and only have 500 to type in. Retweeted some. FOA 1 got back up to 16 in the charts. Sid likes this so much that he said he was going to get me a present. Seeing as he is an imaginary character in one of my books then I'm not holding out much hope.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013


Yes, I typed in 750 words of FOA short story 4. I tried to sort it out at home and eventually found that about 1,500 words of the previous chapter had crept in!!! Now I have found about 2,000 words for the beginning. This should teach me to not only number my pages but to do the same whether I type them or not!!! My head went funny. Is that funny enough? I shall have to type the first 2,000 words in tomorrow. Got to #15 in the charts for FOA 1 today. Number 5 in Germany!

Monday, 11 February 2013


So I managed to proof read Factory of Androids 2 today. Also, FAO OWIA free promotion 10 came online. In the top 100 in UK already. Watched Topaz on Film 4 as I was, I think it might have gone a little quicker if I had not. Twittered and Tweeted to promote it. Also added 300 new people on Twitter. I think it hit a few of us both yesterday and today to know that Jeff Whelan has given up his social media.

"To be or not to be, that is the question?"
"To be or not to be what?"
"A bee?"
"If the question is whether to be a bee or not, don't you have to be a bee?"

Saturday, 9 February 2013


So I have put Only When I Arth 9 on at Amazon. Basically finished the cover for OWIA 10 and the one for OWIA 11 will be easy, I'll invert the colours of OWIA 9! So I proof read Factory of androids 1 and edited some parts of it before I put it on. It could/should be free by Monday. It looks like I will only put it on free for 3 days to get the five pieces on by the end of February.

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the shop, but if I told you it would probably kill you with the laughter. So I shall not tell you to protect your life!

Friday, 8 February 2013


Managed to type in 750 words of FAO short story 4, only 2,000 more to type in. I was very confused with trying to sort out what I had typewritten in and what I had to. I have a headache. I want to go to bed. Goodnight!

Thursday, 7 February 2013


I typed in 1,500 words of The 24 today, in 250 word chunks on my wife's iPad. Also wrote 250 words of the same story. I had planned it a few days ago and so it flowed.

I tried looking at current political satirical programmes on YouTube today. There is a new one with Rory Bremner on Radio 4 sometime today. I thought it might help with my Will Rogers type short funny blog thing. It didn't. I had thought about talking about all the law breakers I saw on the way to university. The mobile phone car users, the cut ins, the speeders, the jay walkers, the magpies. The magpies were jumping in the road before they flew off, and I didn't see them steal anything. So, lawbreakers all over the place, it seems that people only seem to keep the law when they are being watched. A bit like musical statues, they run around until the music/policeman sees them then they stand still hoping not to be caught out.

Wednesday, 6 February 2013


Wrote 260 words today even though I wasn't planning to. Finished the cover for FOA 1 near enough. I was on it for over 8 hours.

My daughter passed her driving test today and we went to Starbucks for a coffee to celebrate (That's where I wrote the words.) If you add an e to fun you get funny, well near enough, it sounds the same.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Raspberry Pye

I wrote about 700 words of The 24 today. Had a coffee at an adult learning drop in and one at the chaplaincy and a short one at Starbucks (not enough milk was put in the Starbucks one, now they have to pay corporation tax...) Didn't do any of my drawing. Also watched Tankeys, the BBC prog about WWII tank crews. Watched the programme about the making of The Da Vinci Code film.

So when I am famous and people discuss my books they will probably look at the above paragraph and say something like, 'He got his inspiration for the fourth book from WWII, the last book from The Da Vinci Code and most of his jokes while he was drinking coffee!!!'

(This blog post is named by my son, who did a raspberry. Then we thought pie, but he then suggested the different spelling. It has nothing to do with WWII, The Da Vinci Code or coffee.)

Monday, 4 February 2013


Didn't do any writing today!!! Instead I drew and added to my android picture. Started it at my daughter's with the grand kids burbling around. Then carried on at home. It is now the correct height, has full legs and slimmer hips as well as an alteration to the chests. (It has two bosooms, being a male.) have basically coloured in the top half so only need to do the legs. I plan to reduce the picture and copy it 7 times for the background, I will increase the size and repeat until there are 7 ranks with the giant robot being in rank 1.

I also drew Batman, Wonder Woman and Robert for my grand daughter. It turns out that she likes the android I have drawn for the cover as much as Batman Et al. Who ate Al I do not know, but nobody tell his mother as she will need to open a can of bull.

Saturday, 2 February 2013


I managed to finish the ending of FOA. I also did an epilogue and an epilogue to the epilogue. Wrote 500 words of TST and 500 words of The 24. I have got myself into another mini battle or two before the finale. You never know I might be able to hit the 30,000 word target! Drew some more of the 4 androids on the cover. I was planning to get it finished this week but with the PC going doolally and me being ill on Thursday I am now behind.

I also read a writing article where this woman said that you should not use too many words ending in ing at the beginning of sentencing. In the previous page of writing I did last weekend I saw two sentences beginning with ing words. She said that it makes for weak writing if it is too common. Things like 'Standing, she walked to the door' and 'Turning on a lathe he made a door knob'. So I will have to check my work for too many ings. Did you know that ing on the end of place names means settlement? Therefore Standing could mean the stand settlement or hoping could mean the hop settlement. A settlement of hoppers, sounds like a bunch of hop pickers on holiday!

Friday, 1 February 2013

A bit of a blog.

I wrote about 722 words of FOA today and caught up with what I hadn't done earlier in the week. Tried to make the cover better by increasing the size of the androids in the background. After looking at what I am going to do with OWIA I think I will be 4 short stories down!!!

Managed to remember my password for the eprintedbooks blog and blogged a bit. Got the printer working and the sound card and dual linked the old hard drive, at least I haven't lost any information. I have been reduced to playing Freecell though. So far I have a 100% score (you guessed it, I won the first game and stopped there!)