tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69534504879705958302024-03-05T03:59:32.372-08:00The Time Backwater (The Arth Series.)A blog advertising the Arth Series novels and flash fiction.Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.comBlogger854125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-87135647449657000652017-11-10T03:31:00.001-08:002017-11-10T03:31:52.107-08:00Murder on the Airship Express 2<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Flanked by his bodyguards the
short squat man, covered by their umbrellas, shuffled up the mooring
tower, and onto the gondola.</span></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">As the designer and funder of
this airship he had spared no expense while creating this opulent
wealth magnet. Created for the transportation, in extreme luxury, for
the incredibly affluent elite of Thera.</span></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Airships were old fashioned at
the time of 1888, ancient even, but this was the appeal. And if they
needed speed then the steam engines could be augmented by the twin
coils propulsion system. A ballroom with resident quartet and grand
piano, premier restaurant and kitchen, first-rate bedrooms with
ensuite bathrooms. There was also a 10 man crew.</span></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">When the designer got to the
boarding area he was piped aboard by a four welcoming party and the
captain.</span></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
“<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Welcome Sir Podney,” saluted
the captain.</span></div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" class="western" style="line-height: 91%; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-indent: 0.5cm;">
“<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Penn,” acknowledged the
designer as he jerked his head in the captain's general direction. He
then looked at one of the guards, “I would like you to prepare my
quarters straight away, I'm tired.”</span></div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-73322717007119788872017-10-20T04:10:00.005-07:002017-11-10T03:30:12.026-08:00Murder on the Airship Express 1<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Black was the night upon which this dark tale was started. As you can see from the title, an airship loomed into view, as a loom may do if it could fly. Bolt lightning lit up the sky to make a truly epic opening sequence. The pilot struggled with the steering wheel against the driving wind, perspiration beading on his brow. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The ground crew of the aerodrome below shivered in the cold air as they waited for the air crew to drop the mooring ropes.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Giving the order to drop the ropes the pilot nodded to the captain to acknowledge his subservience.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-37176343162292274362017-06-30T15:33:00.001-07:002017-06-30T16:10:54.516-07:00Pokéstop CapitalSid and Arthur were Pokémon hunting in the Pokéstop capital of the world, York.<br />
<br />
"350 Pokéstops in such a small centralised area," authoritated Arthur, as if to prove that it was indeed the Pokéstop capital of the world.<br />
<br />
"Are we going to have to come up with a load of Pokémon puns?" intimated Sid.<br />
<br />
"The Author only knows two Pokémon jokes so maybe we have to."<br />
<br />
"Sid thought for a moment, "What do you get if you cross an explosion with a mighty sound wave?"<br />
<br />
"Uh huh?" uh huhed Arthur.<br />
<br />
"Blastoise?"<br />
<br />
"Mmm, very good, now my turn. How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?"<br />
<br />
"You Pokémon?"<br />
<br />
"So you've heard it?"<br />
<br />
"Well it was one of the two jokes that the Author knew."Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-59385895630607703822017-04-29T16:57:00.000-07:002017-04-29T16:57:30.508-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 11<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As the TEABAG goblins
walked towards the electric shield it dispersed in the section that
led to the Fenegan outpost. The door opened and Smetherwick marched
in followed by the other two. What a scene they saw inside. Both
Ruhtra's sitting at table sharing a pot of tea and scones.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra's looked up, “It's
about time you rescued mus. Me's had enough tea and scones to last
two weeks!”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick looked at
Vinigrette, “Let's get scone,” he punned, “we don't seem tea be
'preciated here.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(Scone there rhymes with
scon not stone, depending upon your pronunciation.) Re-read, laugh.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The end.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-58451035994200322962017-04-27T15:35:00.000-07:002017-04-27T15:35:21.646-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 10<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Sounds like a plan,”
nodded Smetherwick, “now let's be on with it before we get shot at
by a ticked off bigfoot.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There was not much cover
between the goodish goblins and the badish ones. As they zig zagged
towards the ASDAG and the outpost the enemy gun lined up on them.
“Do you think they know we're goblins?” wondered Tunning-Cymbals.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“They probably think
we're green dwarves re-wondered Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette took his hat
off and waved, “Cooee!“</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The ASDAG lurched a
little as it fired its payload. It fell about 10 yards short.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A definite shudder was
felt beneath their feet.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What!“ exclaimed
Smetherwick, “was that a warning shot?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They were a little
stunned at first but continued to zig zag towards their foe. About a
minute and a</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
half later the ASDAG had
reloaded and fired another shot, this time falling behind them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“That's it,” cried
Bartram from the Talent, “we have about a minute and a half before
they reload</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
for another shot.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Couldn't we just dodge
around in the sky, make us more difficult to hit?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Of course, but it's
good to be prepared, and we know how long we've got before we need to
be</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
lucky.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
She settled down again
and looked through the iron sights at the three ant-like TEABAG
goblins.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Jamestown was puffing
heavily, “I'm not cut out for all of this zig zagging, I usually
get the</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
servants to do it for
me.” He was slowing down and falling behind the other two.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Throw us the flare
gun,” said Tunning-Cymbals, “you hide behind that fortuitously
placed granite</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
boulder that didn't seem
to be there just now.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette tossed him the
flare gun and the extra flare then drooped down behind the boulder.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Traiton flipped the side
door open to have a better look at what those three small green
dwarves</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
were doing. He cracked
his eyes (not literally, they're not eggs) to see more clearly. They
were</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
goblins!</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This did not compute
properly in his android brain. Goblins were underlings, grunts to be
grown</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
quickly for war. What
were these three doing on a British airship?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The two goblins zagged
across, right in front of where Traiton stood looking at them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Quick zig,”ordered
Smetherwick. And so they both zigged, back to the boulder.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Puffing, Tunning-Cymbals
asked, “Do you think he saw us?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Two goblins zagging
across his line of sight? I think so!”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What happened?”asked
Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Traiton had got out to
have a look at us?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Did he like what he
saw?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What!”exasperated
Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There was a large
deafening boom as the ASDAG fired at the boulder. Shards of granite
splintered from it and rocked towards the three cowering goblins.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Great,” greated
Smetherwick, as Arthur might well have done in this situation, “we
come all this way to get killed by an armoured artillery gun by our
own goblin kind.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“They're not kind at
all,” noted Vinigrette, “they're trying to kill us.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well we've got about
another minute and a half before they fire at the boulder again.
Another few hits and this thing will be in pieces, leaving us no
cover whatsoever.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“How close is it to the
end of the story?” asked Tunning-Cymbals.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I think we'll die
before we get there,” reiterated Smetherwick, if you pardon the
wrong usage of language.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Who's the fastest at
running?” asked their leader.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette and
Tunning-Cymbals both pointed at each other.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As he shook his head he
accused Tunning-Cymbals, “You know you are TC. I think you should
run as fast as you can after the next shot, towards the ASDAG and
fire the flare at the eye-slots, try and blind them. Bartram should
see it and begin his attack.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tunning-Cymbals looked
worried, “What happens if I miss?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Fire the second
flare.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What happens if that
one misses?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A look of unbelief
developed across Smetherwick's face, “You can't be that bad at
shooting? Didn't you win a medal for it at the village fête in '84?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I've pulled my
shoulder since then.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“You're pulling my
leg?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette also joined
in, “He's trying to pull the wool over your eyes.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(I couldn't think of any
more pull clich<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">é</span></span></span>s...)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“It'll have to be me
then,” thought the goblin leader, “I'm not as fast at running but
a good shot.” He pulled up his trousers and tightened his belt.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And so he waited until
the steam cannon had fired another shot at the badly crumbling
boulder. As fast as a hare running down Harehill he sprinted towards
the enemy vehicle. When he got to within 60 feet (with only 30
seconds to go) he aimed a little high and fired the flare. It
bounced, off the armour, and fell into a field, quite close to the
electric shield, with a fantastic fizzle.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He reloaded, it took but
a second and this time he aimed a little lower. The flare shot
straight through the aiming window.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
From inside he heard
goblinish screams and then the side door burst open. Four goblins
scrambled out, gasping for air and unable to see properly. They
looked like green moles at a Gollum convention.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Bartram saw that the
goblin mission had been a success and so directed the Talent towards
the ASDAG.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ann fired the front
cannon and the shells bounced against the armour. She called to the
yeti captain, “Get me near the open door.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Traiton was still inside
his tank thing and sat in the aimer's seat, ready to fire at the
attacking airship, “A little closer,” he murmured as he set his
eye against the sight.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The Talent crossed in
front of the tank and so Traiton fired at it. A hit, upon the
starboard fin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Wobbling slightly,
Bartram managed to stabilise her and hovered over near the door. Ann
changed to a side gun and she fired at least 50 shells into the
infernal machine. Most of the control mechanisms were bent out of
shape, as was most of Traiton. The only thing that worked on him was
his head. After a slight click he detached it and floated out of the
ASDAG., right in front of Ann's Hotchkiss cannon.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Whoops!” he exhaled
(he looked a little like Lukas from The Sun Thief.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick and the other
TEABAGs rounded up the enemy goblins, who were suffering from shock
and awe, with their electric pistols.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“And now to rescue
Ruhtra,” said I and had to let Smetherwick, Tunning-Cymbals and
Vinigrette do it to keep the story flowing properly.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-3923801349823840432017-04-26T15:59:00.000-07:002017-04-26T15:59:37.053-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 9<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Now, because this story
is supposed to be about the TEABAG goblins, and not about Ruhtra, we
return to them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2210"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2211"></a>
Ginster craned his head forward to the place where they saw Ruhtra
mashed up. He brought the Talent in low and hovered over the area.
“Some help please gentlemen,” he shouted at the goblins.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2214"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2213"></a>
The posh goblins jumped down from the airship and began to look about
on the ground like greedy men looking for a penny. Soft Ann trained
her gun towards the enemy tower.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2216"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2215"></a>
As the goblins were availing a message came through on the overly
large radio communication equipment. “We've had a report, from the
Fenegans, that Ruhtra's at Brug in the North of the island.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2218"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2217"></a>
The yeti captain nodded in acknowledgement and signalled back,
“Righto!“ He then shouted to the away team, “It's OK, he's not
here, he's in Brug.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2220"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2219"></a>
Sighing as they all climbed back onto the Talent the goblins moaned
especially Vinigrette, “They could have contacted us sooner.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2221"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2222"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2224"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2223"></a>
Something might have happened at the tower, but I had not thought of
anything and Lord D'ark wanted to rest after the shock of being shot
at by a female Bigfoot (well, wouldn't you?)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2227"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_2228"></a>
Traiton however, being an android, did not need to rest and thought
he'd lead a goblin hunting party to hunt the goblins. He just caught
a whiff of the Talent (it must have been Bartram's eau de cologne)
and mobilised an armoured steam vehicle. (Though not a tank, they
hadn't been invented yet - unless you count the one by Da Vinci.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3712"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3711"></a>
There was no way a steam powered armoured vehicle was going no to
catch a nippy little airship so I had to think of a plot device where
that might be possible.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3718"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3717"></a>
Time travel?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3720"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3719"></a>
Portal?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3722"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3721"></a>
Teleport?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3724"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3723"></a>
Wormhole?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3726"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3725"></a>
Lift by ultra-fast airship?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3728"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3727"></a>
Or I could just say that the Talent breaks down for just long enough
to allow the steam tank to get in front and of them and block their
way to the Fenegan entry post.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3730"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1491095263514_3729"></a>
This could lead to a long, drawn out section where they all bond
together, but I read Lord of the Rings when I was 19 and the bit with
Sam and Frodo really slowed me down, so...</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“There,” sighed Soft
Ann as she placed the wrench on the deck plate, wiped her dirty brow
with a cloth (though you couldn't really tell) and climbed up to the
rest of them. “Who would have believed I would have to do a full
engine rebuild with a multi-wrench and a Swiss army knife.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette looked at
Smetherwick, “Was the Swiss army knife invented this early?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Who can tell without
Google?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The yeti called out as he
grabbed the steering wheel, “Let's fire her up.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As the electric motor
began to whirr the finely balanced Tesla coils did their work and the
Talent started to rise gently.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Who would have
thought,” remarked Tunning-Cymbals, “two weeks in enemy territory
rebuilding an electric engine, hiding from goblin scouts and living
on iron rations.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“At least we won't be
anaemic when we get back.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Eh? I thought you were
going to say something about Wolfenstein and Enemy Territory.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Before I could think of
anything Bartram zipped the Talent towards the end of the story.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There, parked before the
outpost, chugged, hissed and steamed the steam tank (although it
should really be described in another manner.) Traiton ordered the
crew to, “Load the cannon, I can see them.” A single shot
wouldn't do, they really needed more firepower, maybe a couple of
machine guns!</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The Talent way outgunned
the steam tank but one good shot from its opponent would do for her.
Bartram knew this and therefore kept his distance, hovering over 500
yards away. “So this is why we were held up for two weeks.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ann commented, “We can
tank them on.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Eh? It's an Armoured,
Steam Driven, Artillery Gun so the acronym should be ASDAG.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“It's ASDAG price?”
misquoted Ann, but only those people who have seen the ASDA advert,
of the well known Northern British superstore chain, would get that
reference.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Stop being so obscure,
I have only ever heard about the ASDA supermarket chain from looking
at future copies of the Times FT share index.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Huh!“ puffed the
female bigfoot knowing that he was being just as obscure. She looked
through her iron sights, “Are we just going to look at them or
what?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I think we need a
diversion, draw their line of fire. We also need to know how quickly
they can re-load that thing, because that's the time we have to close
on them for the kill.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What about the armour
though, won't the Hotchkiss cannon shells just bounce off?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I don't know, I
haven't been in an action before with a heavily armoured vehicle. We
will have to take our chances.” He shouted down to the galley,
“Oi, you three, you're the diversion. Get out of the Talent, with
the flare pistol, and get close enough to fire it into their front
window. When you have, get out of the way quickish, Soft Ann and I
will finish them off.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This irked all three of
the TEABAG goblins, for not only were they half way through their
afternoon tea, but that they would also have to harm other goblins.
They all started grumping about the spoiled tea and how inappropriate
for upper class, traitor goblins, to kill lower classes in the pay of
some off-worlder female empire builder who must look like a man, for
that is what her impersonator was.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I CAN HEAR YOU
MOANING,” shouted Bartram, “get the flare gun, get off the ship
and get going, or I'll let Ann fire a few rounds at you!“</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well really,” tutted
Smetherwick, as he fumbled for the flare gun and his green jacket.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We'd better not get
killed in this stupid adventure,” re-tutted Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tunning-Cymbals jumped to
the ground ahead of them and crouched in typical goblin manner.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Stop messing around
TC,” reprimanded Smetherwick, “your mother's genetic line is not
that bad.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tunning-Cymbals
straightened up with a, “Cheek! I don't mind harming Traiton,” he
admitted, “but I draw the line at hurting other goblins, unless
they're from the Black Hand Gang.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well that goes without
saying. Traiton is an android after all, and part of the evil Nefad.”
</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“So kill him and just
blind the other goblins? Unless they're Black Handers.” </div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-3773143450469656832017-04-25T15:59:00.001-07:002017-04-25T15:59:59.360-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 8<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Arthur stood there giving
the TEABAG goblins a dressing gown. (I meant down but gown sounds
funnier.)
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I don't want this,”
balked Smetherwick as he handed Arthur the dressing gown back, “it's
pink!“</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Not a girl's colour in
this time and dimension,” spoffed Arthur.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Still...”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Now look here,”
continued Arthur, “you left Ruhtra behind.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“He's dead,”
re-iterated Tunning-Cymbals, “Shill told us so.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“He's not, I have it on
good authority...”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Which authority?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“The Author authority.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oh, do you believe in
him?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“It goes without
asking, anyway he wasn't killed just mashed up a bit so that you lot
have to rescue him.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Why us?” moaned
Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“The story's about the
TEABAG goblins?” he looked forcefully at them, “that's what YOU
are!“</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick looked at
Vinigrette, “We'd better do it or we'll not get paid by the Funny
Character's Union.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Are you Union spies or
not?” queried Arthur.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Erm, sort of,”
thought Smetherwick, “we're part of the Funny Character's Union
Special Fun Force.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“And what's that when
it's at home?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We observe Union
members and if they're not funny enough we can either revoke their
licence...” Arthur immediately went into his slapstick routine
with Sid, who was quite non-plussed. Smetherwick looked disparagingly
at the Colonel/King. “Or...”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Arthur stopped, hoping
that his 'slap a pork pie in Sid's face' was good enough to keep him
in the Union.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We have the authority
to make things funnier.”
</div>
<div dir="LTR" id="Section1">
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12694"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12693"></a>
Sid spat out the crumbled pork pie, “I hate the pork pie slapstick
routine,” he grumbled, “it makes me feel that snout is sacred.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12700"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12699"></a>
Smetherwick got out his notepad and compared notes with the other
goblins, “Snout,” he compared, “it IS a pig joke...”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“But not necessarily a
pork pie joke,” warned Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oi'll give it foive,”
utterated Tunning-Cymbals (if anyone is old enough and British
enough to understand that reference, if not then look at Janice
Nicholls and 'Thank Your Lucky Stars' on YouTube.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12706"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12705"></a>
The TEABAG colonel looked absolutely agog in desperate panic to see
if a five was good enough to keep him in the Union.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What about me?”
moaned Sid.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Automatic 10,”
replied Smetherwick, “even adjusting for the racial bias between
goblins and dwarves.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12711"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12710"></a>
Sid smiled broadly at Arthur and nudged him, “Automatic 10.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12713"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492554692082_12712"></a>
Pulling a sour face Arthur lemoned it into the next chapter.</div>
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
CHAPTER FOUR</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“A lemon, a lemon, my
kingdom for a lemon.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2248"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2240"></a>
I made Arthur say as he waved off the Talent and it flew away to
re-rescue Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2255"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2256"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2257"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490929717463_2258"></a>
In the belly of the Tesla coil powered airship Smetherwick was
looking at Vinigrette and spoke softly, “I can't wait till this gig
is up. It sickens me to have to work with dwarves and elves.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Me too,” bawled
Vinigrette, “I want to get back to bashing them not befriending
them.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What about Ruhtra
though?” suggested Tunning-Cymbals, “he's a wicked shape changer,
turned good. It shouldn't take a lot to to set him back on the road
to destruction.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Like a knife in the
back it was to so traitorously treat our own goblin kind at the tower
of Awat.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They all looked goblinish
and nasty until Soft Ann popped her head round the door, “Tea
anyone?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They quickly put on their
snooty faces.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Er, Darjeeling for
me,” said Tunning-Cymbals.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Assam for me,”
quoted Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Lap...”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Sorry,” interjected
Soft Ann, “we only have Theran Eran, or coffee.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oh,” snooted
Smetherwick, “erm, coffee then, for us all.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3734"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3735"></a>
She popped her head back out and they heard her in the galley getting
the cups ready.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3736"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3737"></a>
What was happening there?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3744"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3745"></a>
They all looked at each other like The Sweet in a Ballroom Blitz.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3746"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3747"></a>
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3748"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3749"></a>
Brug was on the island where Corsica would have been on the earth.
The tower of Awat was in the South of the island, Brug was in the
North. The safety of the electric shield kept Brug from attack, the
tower of Awat had no such protection. To get back inside the safety
of the electric shield, he's would have to make contact with the
outpost about 6 miles before the city. He's could not pass through
the shield or he's would turn into green jelly again.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Mmm,” mmmed the
lesser of the two Ruhtra's, “green jelly, I like that.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3752"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3753"></a>
Ruhtra 1 thought it but didn't say anything.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3754"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3755"></a>
And then they saw the outpost, part of the Fenegan empire.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3756"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3757"></a>
He's didn't know much about Fenegans, well, about any of this world
really. He's would have to play it by ear (or ears?)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3764"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_3760"></a>
The Fenegan entry post was well fortified in case giants or other
enemies tried to access the protection of the area behind the
electric shield.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2156"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2157"></a>
Two gun turrets surveyed the skies about the area and a large
artillery piece looked out to sea to guard the approach from that
direction by naval units (no, not navel units!) [Swimming belly
dancers by chance?]</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2223"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2224"></a>
As he's approached, a gun turret lined up on them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Ooer,” exclaimed
Ruhtra 1 from the side of his mouth that was facing forward.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2228"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2229"></a>
An authoritative voice spoke from a Tannoy system, “Name your
business, or be shot.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2230"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2231"></a>
As quickly as he could speak from the side of his mouth Ruhtra 1
spat, “Secret mission to rescue our Queen, gone wrong, stomped on
by Lord D'ark's Pegasus.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Mmm,” hummed the
voice on the other end, “I didn't quite understand that, but your
outfit shows that you're from the British colony. I'll assume you're
lost and need help.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2243"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2244"></a>
Ruhtra's heard the microphone being switched off.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2242"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1490930063372_2241"></a>
The roving gun turret re-aligned itself on the sky and a door opened
into the entry post.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-6800103385635796812017-04-23T10:39:00.001-07:002017-04-23T10:39:51.553-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 7<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Meanwhile, somewhere
under D'ark's feet...</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Darkness, pain,
separation, hunger. A Mc Donut's would do, and a Mc Cola of some
kind, maybe an Agricola... or Pensacola.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As you may have guessed,
Ruhtra was not dead, just in pieces. Now it's not a very good thing
for a shape changer to be separated from him/her/itself. With no
Zathanian fluid around to make up any shortfall, the lack of body
liquid could mean that he couldn't reconstitute himself.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If he could reconstitute
himself, he might still have problems and end up as two of himself.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(This was obviously a
humorous plot twist by me, any dedicated readers knowing that a
single dominant Zathanian could swallow others [See The Detective
One].)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oh no (wink) what will
happen?</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Splurp. He squirted out
of the earth just as D'ark and Traiton had left. He felt funny
though...</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Splurb... another of
himself appeared, quite close, he was the dominant one.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
[Hang on He (the
original) was the dominant one or He (the second one) was?]</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In fact neither was
dominant, they were exactly half of Ruhtra, each.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oi you,” said little
Ruhtra 1 in a slightly squeaky voice.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As little Ruhtra 2 said,
“Oi you.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It was a bit like a
gnomified echo. They both ran at each other to try and glob into one
organism but something stopped them and they both bounced off one
another.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What!” they both
explained, together. “How can we get anything done if we are both
saying and doing the same thing at the same time?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I don't know,” I
replied, “I haven't thought about this properly. Just wait a little
and I'll see if it gets funnier.” But it didn't seem to.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
One Ruhtra was fine
enough but two, doing and saying the same thing at the same time?
What could I do with them? Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? Small tug of
war? Boxing match/game where one's red, one's blue and they look like
those old fashioned toys?
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We can solve this,”
said the Ruhtras, “one of us could be the left and the other the
right.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“OK,” replied I,
“who's going to be the right?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Me,” they both
answered.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“And who's going to be
the left?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Him,” they both
pointed at each other.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I think I have a
solution, both of you can be the right side, it's just that one will
be facing backwards/forwards and the other will be facing
forwards/backwards.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Uh,” they both uhed.
“I want to be facing forwards/backwards.,” they both chimed.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“You can,” said I as
I made them each take a half of Ruhtra so that he was looking both
forward and backward at the same time.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“It looks like we've
got two heads, one forward and one backward.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well it's either this
or I choose who will be the Ruhtra to be first and put a time delay
on the other so that he speaks and acts after the first.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“No thanks,” they
replied, “we'll get along as we are.” But them not having a
dominant one , they began to spin around instead of walking forward.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“This isn't working,”
I thought, “either as humour or as a concept.” So by the power
of my
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
imagination I got Ruhtra
1 to be the slightly dominant but not enough to join together and
swallow the other one up one. They began to move forward. So that
Ruhtra 2 didn't feel too bad I got him to think that I wanted him to
walk backwards. It worked well enough to get him/them walking towards
the town of Brug where he could be rescued by the others...
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-55549277204971786102017-04-21T14:39:00.001-07:002017-04-21T14:39:12.179-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 6<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra and the others
were sailing out of the outskirts of the area surrounding the tower
of Awat (though how they got a sailboat to perform on dry land I'll
never know, unless I imagined it of course.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The desk commander called
after them, “Oi, you lot, stop!“</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But of course they
didn't.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He called to the guard,
“Call general alarm.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I know General
Slogbottom and General Ptaan-Ptaan but I don't know who General Alarm
is.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The desk commander spat,
“I mean call out the troops, after those goblins, now.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The guard ran after and
the others. So the desk commander scuttered back into his office and
called out the troops on the Tannoy like system, “ Now hear this,
get after the goblins in the unfeasibly imagined the sail boat.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And now, on the good land
ship Pollilop, the six of them sailed through the last check point
and into the wilderness that led to their airship.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“That was easy...”
smiled Shill as the unfeasible land yacht came to a halt. “What's
happened now?” he turned and asked Ruhtra, who had transformed into
a Captain Yellowbeard figure. (Now if that causes copyright problems
then he could appear as Captain Dreadbeard.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Arr lad, we be out of
wind.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What, ye ate no beans
before ye did the mission?” also acted like a pirate Shill.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“That it be.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Foof!“ foofed Shill
in derision then noticed an army of goblins chasing after them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick also noticed
and ordered, “Quick, off the boat, we need to make a run for it.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What, like a chicken
run or something, to keep the yacht in?” stupidly asked
Tunning-Cymbals.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Clot!“ clotted
Smetherwick who clotted so much that he couldn't move.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Shill grabbed the clotted
Smetherwick and set off, followed by the others. Luckily he was
heading towards the hidden Talent.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They were going to make
it, thought I, before I thought again and decided that if they
escaped now then this short story would only be two and a half
chapters long, not four. But they were still running to the airship,
and, the airship saw them, well Bartram spotted them. Well not
spotted, as in drew spots on them, but saw them. And again the ship
didn't see them, if it did it would need some kind of AI in it
(though a reprise of F10NA might be a good idea!)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The yeti forced the
steering arm up and the twin balanced Tesla coils did their work. The
Talent floated into the air and towards Ruhtra and the others.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We're going to get
away,” grimaced Shill, not at all reading what I had to say on the
matter.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Soft Anne fired up the
front Hotchkiss cannons and gave the escapees covering fire. The
shells exploded in front of the goblin horde.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“This in't no good,”
moaned the desk commander as one of his wooden desk legs was blown
off. “Where's Lord D'ark when you need him.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Of course, I had
forgotten that Lord D'ark was supposed to be in this story but had
just read the beginning again and was reminded of it.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Who stole my
unfeasible land yacht!“ screamed D'arkas he flew over to them on
his black-winged pegasus (you know, the one he had in The Crying
Pennant.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Holding his busted leg,
the desk commander pointed to Ruhtra and the others, “Them Sire.”
<br />D'ark goaded his Pegasus whose wings flapped forcefully,
directing it towards the shapechanger.<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />Soft Anne was still
directing the fire at the ground in front of the goblins and, though
she saw D'ark on his winged mount, did not think he would be much of
a threat.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
However, D'ark was an
excellent pegasus rider and was able to fly up to Ruhtra and land on
him. (Could I make some kind of joke here about Ruhtra turning into a
landing strip?)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But before I could think
of a relevant joke or pun, Ruhtra had been squashed and turned into
his green gelatinous state. The pegasus trampled the green goo at
D'ark's command.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“You monster,” cried
Shill as he picked up a stump of wood to whack the horse's behind.<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This being a cross
between a steampunk Victorian world of Thera and the
fantasy/sci-fi/horror dimension of the Arth series, D'ark pointed at
Shill with his left gauntlet and shot a ray of electricity at the
impersonator, “Did that shock you Queen?” he boomed through his
megaphone mouthpiece.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The shock had caused
Shill to leap about 10 foot in the air and come crashing down upon
Vinigrette, who had the wind knocked out of him.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Soft Anne saw all of this
happening but did not want to shook at D'ark in fear of hitting the
others, “Get me closer!“ she growled at Bartram. And so he forced
the footplate down to re-direct the Tesla coil energy into a forward
not hovering position. While he did this the female bigfoot grabbed
for a scoped rifle, hoping to bring the Dark Lord down in a more
accurate way.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well that's it, the
Dark Lord's dead,” thought I, not wanting to kill him but not
wanting to rescue him either.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I didn't have to, Traiton
did. The living android thingy saw D'ark mashing the TEABAGs and
thought he'd join in. He got between D'ark and Soft Anne's line of
sight. When she fired she hit Traiton's adamantium head. The bullet
bounced off, but struck him with such force that it knocked him into
the black pegasus. This sent D'ark tumbling off and into a ditch.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“You blithering fool!”
shouted D'ark, covered in mud, as he saw Shill and three TEABAG
goblins climbing onto the Talent. The pegasus flew off and D'ark
could do nothing but shake his fist at the escapees and chide
Traiton, who was as muddy as he.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The atmosphere was
electric, they were buzzing a bit like an Electabuzz in a bee hive.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We did it yeah!“
yeahed Shill.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblins were all
looking very pleased with themselves.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Did you get him?”
enquired Bartram from the bridge.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Of course we did,”
replied Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Where is he then?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“The big guy dressed as
the Queen?” pointed the goblin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I thought that was
Ruhtra in disguise. Where's Ruhtra then?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Err,” erred
Smetherwick, “dead?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“DEAD!” whelped the
yeti captain. “Are you sure?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette interjected,
“Well, D'ark's pegasus did mash him to bits.”</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Thinking for a bit
Bartram then reasoned, “Well I never really liked him anyway. Let's
get back to base.”</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-26348375094703685772017-04-20T17:01:00.002-07:002017-04-21T14:30:53.818-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 5<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And then he was falling,
but not down, up. What a strange sensation it was. He soon arrived on
the</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
landing of the top floor,
followed by Blintington Smetherwick, Tunning-Cymbals and Jamestown</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette, (and the
goblin guard.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblin guard barked
orders, as a sheltie may do, "Put him in the cell opposite the
special prisoner."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette pushed Ruhtra
to the left.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I said OPPOSITE the
special prisoner."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So Tunning-Cymbals pushed
him in the other direction, then looked at the guard, who was
frowning with both hands on his hips.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick now pushed
him to the centre, then looked back at the guard, who was still
frowning.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And so it began, each of
the TEABAG goblins pushed Ruhtra in a different direction, Three
Stoogily.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblin guard looked
up and raised his hands, then turned and walked into the down hole to</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
disappear from this
scene.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Stop it, stop it!"
spat Ruhtra as they continued to push him.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tunning-Cymbals did it
one more time, Ruhtra glowered at him.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
'Now," squeaked the
shape changer, "since we've been left alone, we can get into the
cell to rescue</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
John Shill."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Which one?"
asked Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Um," pointed
Ruhtra randomly, "that one," and pointed to the wrong one.
So I forced him to go</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
to the right one.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Knock on he door.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oggie the goblin looked
round, "Who's that I wonder?" He was mid-way through a
critical roll with his space marines. He shook his head and got up to
see who was at the door.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Hello,"
squeaked Ruhtra, "I've come to play In Her Majesty's Name with
her Majesty."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"We're playing a
variant of 40k actually."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"In The Emperor's
Name?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Why yes!"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I don't mind
swapping my D10s for D6s, and using my Praetorians as …"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Oggie thought for a
moment, "Er, are you a prisoner?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No, part of John
Shill's rescue party."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Oh, so you don't
want to play 40k then?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No, now do you want
us to knock you out or are you going to be part of our team, we need
a seventh?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Will it hurt?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"If we knock you out
or if you become the seventh?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Either...?"<br />
"Either,"
replied Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I'll go with the
seventh, seeing as I'm a seventh son."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"So seven of seven
then, that can be your Borg designation."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Is that a Swedish
name?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"And what do you
know about that Oggie, you are a cloned goblin, a hundred years in
the reader's</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
past and on an alien
planet."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What, aren't I
allowed to break the forth wall or what."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Not yet son, not
yet. I'll tell you when you can." At that he turned curtly
around and motioned for those rescued and initiated into the TEABAG
goblins to follow him down the rabbit hole, (so Christened by me
because it sounded like a good name for the fally down fally up tube
thingy.)
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
CHAPTER THREE</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As they hit the ground
(from the teleportation left thingy) Ruhtra looked ahead. He saw the
guardian goblin near the door and sucked some air in through his
teeth (now if he had sucked some air in with his teeth that would be
weird, or maybe not so much - for a shapechanger.)<br />
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick spotted this
and wondered, "Have you got your full powers back yet?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra squinged a bit and
grew full size, "Yes!" then realised, "I can skin
him."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What!"
exclaimed Shill because he misunderstood Ruhtra's intent even though
he knew the comment was about him.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Have you not read
Ground Hog War?" the shapechanger asked Shill.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No, hardly anyone
has, no stars on Amazon. (com or .co.uk?) even, well, maybe one five
star review from the Author's biggest fan.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Shaking his head, Ruhtra
empathised with the Author then explained to Shill, "I can cover
you in a thin, disguising membrane, to make you look like a tall
goblin."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Hobgoblin?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Yes, are you up for
it?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I suppose so,"
shrugged Shill, "or this story will never get anywhere."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And so Ruhtra skinned
him.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This made them ready to
get through the guarded exit. As they walked towards it the guard
nodded at them in acknowledgement then pressed the big green button
that opened the entrance door. The portal flibbled open. Upon passing
through, Rhutra found it difficult to keep his shape, luckily he was
not spotted by the guard.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
However, the desk
commander had a monitor in his office but didn't quite understand
what had happened. He thought his screen had gone on the blink and
banged it hard with his fist. The monitor wobbled and fell off. He
made a cursing sound and then scattered towards the door to look out
at the exit.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra had just about
settled down.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The desk commander saw
nothing wrong but still felt uneasy, "What's wrong?" But he
didn't answer himself, after all he was a strange looking creature in
a made-up sci fi/fantasy, YA type of book, why should he.
Nevertheless (but definitely not neverthemore) he decided to act. "To
be or not to be..." he started, but as we know, I didn't mean
that kind of acting.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Like a crab on a hot tin
roof he scattered down the passageway and got there just as the
portal had closed. "You fool!" he screamed at the guard.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What do you mean
Desk Commander?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I had an uneasy
feeling about that party of goblins that has just left."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Did you act on it,
'To be or not...'"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Yes," wibbled
the desk commander, "I've already done that 4th wall joke."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Whatever,"
minched the guard as he hit the green button again to open the
doorway.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-12230485041634915672017-04-19T15:45:00.002-07:002017-04-19T15:45:50.464-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 4<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette looked into
the air, "Is he daydreaming again?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But too late, for an
unexpected unit of guards came upon them (now this was a bit unfair,
but I was paying Vinigrette back for saying I was daydreaming.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra quickly turned
into one of the goblins they had captured earlier. And the enemy unit
passed them by without a how's-your-father.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Blintington-Smetherwick
whispered out of the side of his mouth when he was out of earshot of
the enemy unit, "What, no comedic repartee, but only a misquoted
cliche?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And then they were at the
tower (they had miraculously circumvented/navigated their way through
the heavily infested goblin camp that made up the Outskirts.
Something else must have been happening, I'll try to think of what it
might be later!) 'Twas an ominous edifice that emanated a darkness of
pure evil. But it's maw was closed in such a way that Ruhtra would
have to shape-change to get them in.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So as a bird, a tasty
morsel of a bird, Ruhtra flew up to the highest point of the tower. It
was through the window (protected by anti-shapechanger technology)
that he saw John Shill playing a war game with a goblin. He turned
into slime to try and seep through the cracks in the wal. "Oh
blob!" he exclaimed, "anti-shapechanger technology!"
This time he turned into a not-too-tasty slug and dived to the
ground, towards the others.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The slight thud upon
Tunning-Cymbals' shoulder caused him to jump out of his skin (not
literally, after all this is supposed to be suitable reading for
Young Adults.) "You scared me there!" he blurted.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra shook his little
green slimy head, "Anti-shapechanger technology."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Well how are we
going to get in then? No perceivable door and the windows sealed with
anti-shapechanger technology?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra managed to morph
into a smaller version of himself, (as Arthur.) "I don't know,"
he slightly squeaked in a higher than usual tone.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ideas section?"
asked Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They all ummed but
nothing came to mind.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What about asking
the Author?" asked Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But I had no ideas, it
was late and I was tired. And so the story came to a complete stop
until either I or they came up with something.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />A bit of
pottering around later...</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ok?" Oied a
goblin guard, "What do we have 'ere then? A British prisoner?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Err...?" erred
the TEABAG goblins all togethErr!</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Well we'd better
get him in to see the boss then," with this remark he clicked a
small token and a portal appeared in the wall.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ooer," ooered
Ruhtra, "even more anti..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Blintington-Smetherwick
budged him to stop him giving the game away.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The new goblin grimaced
at Ruhtra, "Is he a dwarf or a gnome? I can't tell."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Cheek," fumed
Ruhtra as the TEABAG goblins bundled him into the tower.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Into the valley the
airship plummeted as she clung onto the rail...</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Sorry, is this the
same story," asked Ruhtra as I stopped daydreaming.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Of course it wasn't, it
was possibly something happening to Lizzie McBean in maybe a book of
the future. As I was thinking about this they all marched up an
ascending passageway, passing strange blue doors, until they got to
the boss's one.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Knock knock (knock
knocked the lead goblin, you know, the enemy one.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Anter,"
mispronounced a voice on the other side.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As the lead goblin opened
the door they saw a goblin commander inside, seated as a desk.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Now that should be a
spelling mistake, but let's go with it.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Sir," said the
lead goblin as he led Ruhtra in.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Time for a few
furniture puns then," noted the smallish King Arthur
shapechanger.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Hmm," hmmed
the desk-like commander.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Things like 'table
a motion' and 'you be the chair'," burbled Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No puns please."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Or what? Will you
deck me?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"That's not a
furniture pun," remarked the lead goblin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I know, there's
only sofa you can go in a story like this."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No puns,"
re-iterated the commander as he shuffled his desk legs around a bit
like a giant crab.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“So are those legs a
steampunk addition then?” asked the diminutive one, “a bit like
Loveless in The Wild Wild West.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“The one with Will
Smith or the one with Robert Conrad?” asked the desk.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Will Smith.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Mmm...maybe, depending
what the Author can get away with,”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(So now, because I've
spent so long doing other things, I have to figure out where they are
and what they have been doing.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<ul>
<li><div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Captured</div>
</li>
<li><div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In the tower (of
Awat)
</div>
</li>
<li><div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They need to get to
the top</div>
</li>
<li><div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How?</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The desk commander then
broke into my thoughts “...take him to the top of the tower, put
him in the room next to the special prisoner.”Ruhtra's eyes
expressed his hidden glee as Blintington Smetherwick turned him
bodily around and forced him out of the door.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Of course the TEABAG
goblin had no idea where he was going.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Wrong way Grog, you
need to be going down to go up,” shouted the goblin guard who had
led them into the room.</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick gurned a
little as he pushed Ruhtra towards a hole in the ground.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-71646235615300066572017-04-18T16:16:00.001-07:002017-04-18T16:16:14.572-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 3<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Now that's a mixed metaphor, and
should not be used.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Are you a grammar Nazi?”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We're too early for Nazis.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Grammar Napoleon? He's an earlier
dictator.” Then Ruhtra turned into Napoleon.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick admired him, “He wasn't
that small was he really, about 5' 7” I would say.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra looked at him with disdain,
“Goblins would say he wasn't that small, seeing as they're only
about 5' tall.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We are slightly taller than the
average goblins,” explained the goblin leader, “as we are part of
the goblin nobility.”</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Just then, as if to bring this part to
an end, a couple of random goblins turned up, as if the Author had
rolled an 8 on a goblin encounter table.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
CHAPTER TWO</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Fatagh!" Spat
the first goblin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Rawer," rawred
the second goblin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Great,"
thought Ruhtra, "they can't even speak English!" He then
thought he would change into a butterfly to try to remain in earshot
of the two enemy goblins.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />However, thought the
Author, remembering the bad decision he had made 30+ years ago when
he was playing the Marvel Superheroes RPG. [He had had the ability to
turn into three people and any creature. He turned one of himself
into a fly, to listen to some bad guys, and got swatted in the
process!] The butterfly must not get too close...
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Blintington-Smetherwick
started to grumble, "I thought we were supposed to be capturing
one of them?"<br />Tunning-Cymbals heard this grumble and replied,
"Let's just capture one ourselves." He clipped a clip of
needles into his electric pistol, (standard TEABAG issue for
non-lethal missions.)<br />Taking aim at the rearmost goblin he
fired... and hit butterfly Ruhtra who, because of the electric shock,
immediately turned into his green gelatinous state, fell on the two
enemy goblins and accidentally captured them.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />"Well I never,"
blew Blintington-Smetherwick, "did you mean to do that?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Err..." erred
the other goblin, "yes."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
One of the captured
goblins began to shout. He expelled so much air that that Ruhtra
started to bubble up around him.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Great," moaned
Smetherwick the 3rd, "if he keeps ranting like that Ruhtra's
green bubble will expand so much that they'll see it from the tower."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Let's pop him,"
suggested Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Not on your
Nellie!" exclaimed a Ruhtra-like mouth that formed near the
three TEABAG goblins on the green bubble. Instead, when he had
regained enough composure, he turned into an iron cage. "You
question them Tunning-Cymbals. They might find it a little strange to
be questioned by a cage."
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Not if that Cage
was called Nicholas," replied Tunning-Cymbals before he realised
that<br />he wasn't supposed to know that modern pop culture reference.
He looked at the foremost goblin. "What's your name?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblin poked his arms
out of the cage and sneered, "What's it to you?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I want to know if
we're related. Can you hear me mother?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblin began to give
his clan call sign, "Wahaay..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Shhhh,"
shushed the other captured goblin as he bash d his friend to stop him
revealing the sign.<br />Smetherwick and Vinigrette came over to
discuss what they should do next.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"We need to threaten
them," threatened Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Why are you
threatening me?" asked Cymbals.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I'm not, I'm just
suggesting it. It was the Author who described me as threatening
instead of suggesting."<br />"Oh," vented Cymbals, "OK
then, I'll threaten him." He looked at the forward facing
goblin, you know, the one he had spoken to first. The one who was
surly. "Just don't tell me then if you're related to me. I'll
just get the shapechanger to pull off your arms."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The spoken to goblin
quickly withdrew his arms from out of the gaps in the cage.<br />"Or
your legs," threatened Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The captured goblin began
to dance around to keep from stepping in the gaps of the cage beneath
his feet.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Bazinga!"
Shouted the hopping goblin.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ba-da," quoted
Vinigrette</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tunning-Cymbals looked at
him, "where did ba-da come from?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Oh, home..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"You mean the
Dreamworks film?" He mused for a second, "Is that a call
sign from your mother's tribe?"<br />Vinigrette looked a little
ashamed, "What if it is?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"It's just that my
mother's tribe didn't associate with your mother's tribe."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What was your
mother's tribe's call sign then?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Have you finished?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Why?"<br />"No,
that was my mother's tribe's call sign."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Oh, I see. We'll
never mind, we're brothers now."</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra was listening to
this exchange and decided to say something, to get the story moving
again.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Something!"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Vinigrette, Smetherwick and Cymbals
looked at him. "Trying to get the story moving again are we?"
derided Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Of course, we've
only been here for three months."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No we haven't,"
disagreed Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No not here,"
explained Ruhtra, "but stuck at this part in the story because
the Author was going through a crisis."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Again?"
questioned Cymbals, "it must be his age."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Or that he's an
eccentric," thought Vinigrette.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ahem," ahemed
Ruhtra, "it matters neither way, we must rescue Shill."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Oh yes,"
flibbled Smetherwick, "it is such a time critical mission that
the Author takes three months off."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I got a bit annoyed with
Smetherwick and decided to give him size 14 feet.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Ouch," he
cried as his feet grew. He was lucky I allowed his boots to grow to
the correct size as well.<br />Ruhtra looked at Smetherwick's feet and
started to dance around in anger, "How are we supposed to get
into the camp now. No normal goblin has feet that size!"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For a minute Vinigrette
thought, "He could be a wandering clown."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The shapechanger nearly
popped, then calmed down, "Where's the face paint?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /><br />After about 10
minutes they had face painted Smetherwick.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He looked in a mirror, "I
look a bit sad really, can't you make me look happier?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"The tears of a
clown..." quoted Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Eh?"<br />"When
there's no one ar..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I stopped him there
because I didn't want to pay the copyright fee for using song
lyrics.<br />"Abound," finished Tunning-Cymbals, just in case
there were any copyright legalists among the readership.<br />"He
looks good enough," looked Ruhtra, "let's get on with it."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What do we do about
those two," asked Vinigrette, nodding towards the enemy
goblins.<br />Ruhtra took out his stun pistol (though where he was
keeping it I have no idea) and shot one pin at each enemy goblin.
They fell, stunned, to the floor.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Now let's be on."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
They arrived at the
outskirts of the tower of Tawa.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(Outskirts, thought I,
without looking on Google, I wonder if it has something to do with a
ladies outermost skirt on a crinoline?)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Now this thought belied
the fact that I, the Author, had done a G.C.E in the History of
Costume when I was at Art School. Maybe that's where I got the idea
for Victorian Adventure from...</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-15850115900014151392017-04-16T16:43:00.001-07:002017-04-17T02:09:32.363-07:00The TEABAG Goblins 2<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(Arthur met the three
snooty, noble goblins and thought they'd be good enough. Then he
introduced them to their gunner and pilot. The gunner was a new
character, a female bigfoot called Soft Ann Squatchy. The pilot was
Bartram Ginster of Goblins Versus Yetis fame.)</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The tower of Awat (which
is only the name Tawa turned around backwards) didn't so much loom in
the distance as flibble. Now flibble isn't really a word and even if
it was I don't know what it means. Something similar to loomed but
either more or less ominous depending on my mood.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What's he on
about?" listened to my thoughts thought Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The goblins seemed to
have no idea what he was on about and thought that he might have been
speaking about Bartram. Now Bartram had no direct orders so, using
his common sense, landed behind some tallish trees and bushes to hide
the ship from the tower.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What is he doing?"
moaned the shape changer who assumed he was in charge even though he
was just a liaison officer. He went to see the yeti. As he entered
the bridge he started to chunter, "And what do you think you are
dong?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I had no direct
orders so..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Sew?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No so."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"No no, sew so."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What does that
mean?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Not sew but so?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"So?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Erm, to get back on
track, why did you land so far from the tower?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We don't want to be
seen by the bad guys before we get there do we? We want to remain
inconspicuous for as long as possible, until we have the queen at
least. They might phase back into that semi-dimension thing the Author mentioned at the beginning.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Pantomime dame.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Whatever.” Ruhtra
rolled his eyes (but not along the floor as he could do), “I
suppose you're right, I'd better change.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What into?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“A goblin prince, what
else. You two can wait with the ship until we get back. If I make the
signal then come and pick us up.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What signal?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Er, a flare in the
sky?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Have you got a flare
gun?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“No.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Well how are you going
to do that then?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I don't know.”
Bartram reached into one of the drawers of the bridge and retrieved a
flare gun with two flares and then handed it and them to Ruhtra.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Why two flares?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“In case one doesn't
work.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oh,” ohed Ruhtra as
he morphed into a goblin prince then accepted the flare gun and
flares.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As the four of them were
on the way, Tunning-Cymbals was whacking some high grass with a
stick.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Who are we supposed to
be again?” he shouted towards Ruhtra.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Erm...” ermed
Ruhtra, because he had not thought that far forward.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What!” exclaimed
Smetherwick the 3rd, “we are just walking into an enemy goblin camp
without a proper backstory?”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“You're goblins aren't
you? Wibbled Ruhtra in his general direction.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What does that mean,
we're from a different tribe?”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Clone factory don't
you mean,” inserted Jamestown Vinegrette.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick looked
witheringly at Vinegrette, “That's not the point,” he looked back
at Ruhtra, “goblins from different tribes don't get on unless they
have strong leadership. We don't know any of the call signs or
special phrases.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What special phrases?”
queried their temporary leader.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Every tribe uses
special phrases in conversation with other goblins to feel part of
the group and to find out if there are spies among them.”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ruhtra wondered, “So
what are your special phrases then?”
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Can you hear me
mother!”
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Very Sandy Powell,” withered
Ruhtra.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Sandy Powell?” queried
Tunning-Cymbals.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Don't say that it's just a
coincidence that you are using one of his catch phrases?”
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“It's just a coincidence.”
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I said don't say it !”
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2226"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2225"></a>
"Actually you said 'Don't say it's just a coincidence that
you're using one of his catch phrases'." Corrected
Tunning-Cymbals.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2228"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2227"></a>
"Very corrective of you TC," then Ruhtra looked in my
general direction.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2230"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2229"></a>
So I came up with an idea and gave it to TC, who looked at it but
couldn't read my writing and guessed, "I think that we will need
to kidnap one of their goblins to find out the tribal phrase."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2232"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2231"></a>
"Kidnap?" queried Vinigrette,"couldn't we just trick
it out of one of them? A bit like that Johnny Depp film."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2234"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2233"></a>
"We could try to trick it out of him and if that doesn't work
then kidnap him."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2236"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2235"></a>
"Do we really need to do all of this?" moaned Ruhtra, "I
could just morph into a copy of one of them and walk through the base
to rescue Shill."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Smetherwick reminded him,
"Anti-shapechanger technology?"</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2239"></a>
"Do they have it?"</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2240"></a>
"Maybe."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2242"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2241"></a>
Ruhtra thought to himself, "I'm going to need a piece of
technology to deal with that in future stories." He pondered for
a little then mused, "If I can get a look at a couple of them
then I can copy one of them and engage the other in conversation.
Then we don't need to kidnap anyone."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2244"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2243"></a>
"But that's not as fun," pointed Blintington Smetherwick.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2246"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2245"></a>
"OK then," agreed Ruhtra, "we'll try it your way
first. If it fails then they may raise the alarm, and then where will
we be?"</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2247"></a>
"Here?"</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2249"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2248"></a>
"Yes," nodded Ruhtra, "but I didn't mean that. I meant
we will be up a creek with no paddle."</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2251"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2250"></a>
"Couldn't you can use a more apt metaphor, something like in the
English club, or porridged?"</div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2253"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1492384389505_2252"></a>
"English porridge?"</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-28096237868613316242017-04-15T16:23:00.001-07:002017-04-15T16:31:13.050-07:00Easter Present: The Teabag Goblins part 1It is a whole year after the time I wanted to give out The TEABAG Goblins as a present, last Easter. I have finally finished the handwritten story and typed most of it in (yesterday.) So without much ado, continue...<br />
<br />
<br />
The TEABAG Goblins part 1<br />
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There were goblins,
giants and dark elves in SAASA. But for Arthur and Sid to work with
goblins then they would have to be or do something special. What
could be that special? Or maybe special skills. What special skills
could be that special? And why would they be working with the East
Anglian? Making chocolate, weapons, fun? And what about the yeti and
the Bigfoot that are appearing in the LEGO pictures put on Instagram
by the Author, what have they to do with anything? We know that the
yeti is Bartram Ginster from Goblins Versus Yetis, but who's the
Bigfoot?
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So I need some names for
some goblins and a Bigfoot and a back story as to why they're working
with the East Anglian. Maybe they could be like the French Foreign
Legion, a regiment made up of nation-less men, rejects from their own
societies. But the Special Operations Section of The East Anglian are
supposed to be an elite unit specially trained for behind the lines
missions. Maybe they need goblins (and possibly a yeti or Bigfoot) to
infiltrate enemy units. It is well known that goblins can smell
dwarves and that dwarves can smell goblins. Except that Colour
Sergeant Sid Scubbins is not a complete dwarf. He is a hybrid clone
who is slightly taller and undwarfish (or should I say undwarvish
there?) Ruhtra the shape changer could pretend to be a goblin, a
yeti, a Bigfoot, well anything he likes really. But maybe they need
more than one.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Right then, names.
Bigfoot, Bernard Squatchi. That's good enough, or maybe a North
American first name. Mmmmmm, Little Dog Squatchi? Running Bear
Squatchi? I know, Soft Ann Squatchi. That's funny enough and it
introduces a female Bigfoot. Now the goblins. They could be upper
class goblins who have fallen foul of the Nefad and desire to get
back at their previous masters. Upper class goblin names? Blingtinton
Smetherwick the III, (good) Jamestown Vinegrette the second Earl of
Shortbread. Um, Winston Algebra Tunning-Cymbals. And now the back
story.
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A long long time ago in a
land right next to where you are now, just in a different dimension,
there stood a tower, a wicked evil place full of wickedness and evil.
This was the hub of the nether region, a sub-dimensional pocket from
whence the Nefad were planning their attack on Thera. (No, not the
second book in the Theran Chronicles, but their attack on that
planet.) If you have read Sid and Arthur's Steampunk Adventure then
you will have heard all about the Nefad. They were growing a
goblin/Bigfoot/yeti/dark elf clone army with a few giants thrown in
for good measure. Traiton, the sentient android was there after his
great failure in SAASA. His master was also there, Lord D'ark. They
were in the throne room right at the top of the tower conversing in
conversation.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Now is the time for us
to attack through the portals into Thera,” said D'ark in a manner
similar to Richard III in Richard III.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Yes my lord,” agreed
Traiton, “but we need a few more weeks for the goblin army to be
fully grown.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“What do you mean?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“They are all children
at the moment, even though the ageing process has been speeded up. If
you don't mind an army of ten year old goblins attacking with the
rest of your forces then we can attack straight away.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“The uniforms I have
ordered will be too large for goblin children. They will be attacking
in their boiler suits, that won't do at all. Can't we speed the
process up?”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“We can my lord, but
they will die of old age faster.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“I don't mind, as long
as they can fight and take our objectives on Thera.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“But we will need them
to hold their positions once they're there, the giants, dark elves,
yetis and Bigfoots might not be able to do it on their own.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
“Oh well, a couple more
weeks will allow the Author to introduce, train and utilise the new
TEABAG characters he has just invented for this story.”</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Colonel Arthur Pendragon
(OOT) was looking at the document files concerning the new goblin
personnel that were being made to be part of the East Anglian Special
Operations Section. "Blingtinton Smetherwick III, how
pretentious," he went on to read out loud, "the seventh son
of the king of the Flauban goblins. Has previously worked in both
entertainment and publishing industries. Highly intelligent but also
a snob. Dislikes dwarves intensely but manages to keep a lid on it."
He mused for a second, "I hope that Sid can keep a lid on it."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"On what?"
asked his teacup.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Derisively Arthur rebuked
his cup, "Would you stop turning yourself into different items
to try to get early intel on our operations!"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The cup morphed into
Ruhtra, the shape changer. "I say, not enough caffeine in your
tea? Grumpy and tired still?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Pish posh,"
pish poshed Arthur as he wafted the documents around in front of
Ruhtra, "away with you, and see if you can get Sid for me."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I am a liaison
officer not a servant."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"You can be anything
you like, you're a shape changer."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Huffing, Ruhtra left the
room to get Colour Sergeant Sid Scubbins.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sid then entered the
room, regimentally, and saluted.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Very regimental
Sid, now at ease,” spoke Arthur.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He stood with legs apart
and slapped his hands behind his back.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Can I trust you not
to attack these goblins on sight?" asked Pendragon.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I am only part
dwarf you know. I might only partially attack them."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"That's not good
enough, I need their special abilities for this mission we're going
on."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What, you mean they
need entertaining or something publishing?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Blingtinton
Smetherwick's special abilities are working in the entertainment and
publishing industries. Or maybe you think his hatred of dwarves is
also a special ability?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Arthur was embarrassed,
"Hum, er..."<br />
"Or maybe you need to cook a chicken in
red wine?"
</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Huh?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Jamestown
Vinegrette's special ability." Seeing Arthur's obvious confusion
he carried on riding him, "What, haven't you read his bio yet?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Well, erm..."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I'll take that as a
no then."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This made Arthur angry,
"Look, I'm in charge here, and if you can't promise not to
attack the goblins then I'll have to leave you behind."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I don't think the
Author'll like that, his most funniest character left behind."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"He will have me?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sid shook his head which
made Arthur feel uncomfortable.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Will you promise?"
pleaded the commander with his eyes.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"I suppose I could
promise not to attack the goblins, unless it's a really funny piece
of visual humour that will help to sell the book series."</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"What book series?"</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sid tapped his nose with
his forefinger in a knowing way.</div>
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
"Do you knowing
something I don't?"</div>
<br />
<div align="JUSTIFY" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sid just smiled. Arthur
decided to relent, "I will take your half a promise then. Ask
the goblins to come in to see me." He then turned back to read
the reports on the other two goblins while Sid exited stage left
chased by a bear.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-39730660578018160042017-03-02T14:58:00.001-08:002017-03-04T18:06:25.049-08:00First Time In Ages<br /><br />So this is the first time in ages that I have updated my blog (as you may have noticed.) I have just started on chapter 4 of The TEABAG Goblins, I am going to try to put at least 500 words on a day over Easter. We have been busy not making money at our second hand business. We are now becoming re-sellers because we are making more money on eBay.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Today's joke is: What do you call an exploding monkey?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />A ba, boom!Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-60717396598144541932016-03-04T06:11:00.000-08:002016-03-04T06:11:54.938-08:00New PostSo I managed to write a little more of TEABAG Goblins on Wednesday @ OG Games. I have written about a chapter so far and am planning to put it on my blog as a series for Easter. As nod to OG I am going to call one of the goblins Oggie.Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-67926438187467193942015-12-21T05:34:00.001-08:002015-12-21T05:34:28.734-08:00FREE over Christmas!The East Anglian Bombardiers and Grenadiers will be free over Christmas at Smashwords. I put it on my blog free last Christmas and have only recently finished the cover, as evidenced by the picture above. The current link goes to my Amazon page but once the book is on then I will change the link. Happy Xmas everyone!Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-4103110412110475472015-11-26T16:01:00.000-08:002015-11-26T16:39:31.617-08:00Funny Story<br style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', 'Segoe UI', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<br /><br />"A funny story eh?" ehed Sid.<br />"What?" pretended to misunderstand I.<br />"You know what I said, you just can't do things like 'ehed Sid' to get a laugh you know."<br />"Why not?"<div>
"People want word play, puns, parody, wit..."<br />"Tuh woo," tried I to sound like an owl.<br />"You're worse than Arthur sometimes."<br />"Oh really, when?"<br />"Now. and by the way, what's with all the questions?"<br />"I'm trying to get you to say something funny."<br />"What did the clown say to his wife to make her laugh?"<br />"I don't know."<br />"Something funny, there said it."<br />I groaned inwardly.</div>
Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-35696791764561580882015-11-13T14:11:00.004-08:002015-11-13T14:11:37.452-08:00Alf<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.09375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;">"Did you know that Alfred means elf read or evenly wise?" Sid the dwarf asked of Alf the elf.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.09375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;"><div>
"Yes I did," replied Alf.</div>
<div>
"So you are the elvenly wise elf."</div>
<div>
"Well not really, my name's Alf not Alfred."</div>
<div>
"So you're the elf elf then?"</div>
<div>
"In a minute I'll use my incredibly accurate bowman skills on you."</div>
<div>
"You can't do that, it's not permissible."</div>
<div>
"Why?"</div>
<div>
"Elf and safety regulations!"</div>
</span>Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-82625212462330572952015-11-05T18:37:00.003-08:002015-11-05T18:37:44.228-08:00Boom, crash, shudder...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.09375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;">Boom, crash, shudder.<div>
These three words denote some kind of accident or mishap. This could have happened to Sid or Arthur, or not.</div>
<div>
It could just be the Author trying to come up with something for #FlashFriday and hoping that if he wrote, "Boom, crash, shudder," something would come to mind. </div>
<div>
"Hah," hahed Sid who was hanging around, "I've come to mind, something in your mind."</div>
<div>
"What?" whatted I, "does that make sense?"</div>
<div>
"It could mean that I am now minding something in your mind."</div>
<div>
"What?"</div>
<div>
"I don't know, what are you thinking about?"</div>
<div>
"I am supposed to be thinking about Kendra and the Wolf Master."</div>
<div>
"Do you mind?"</div>
<div>
"What?"</div>
<div>
"If I help you."</div>
<div>
"It's not supposed to be a comedy you know Sid."</div>
<div>
"Is anything you write really funny?"</div>
<div>
"What!" exclaimed I, insulted by my own creation.</div>
<div>
"Too many whats in this short story," and so he was off before I could make him suffer a boom, crash or shudder.</div>
</span>Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-22603392749549316672015-10-30T06:48:00.000-07:002015-10-30T06:48:01.433-07:00#FridayFlash<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.09375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;">#FridayFlash<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Friday flash," <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">grumped Arthur, "I thought the Flash was on a Tuesday?"</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Sid, his little dwarven sidekick replied, "Not the CWTN super hero series, but that type of fiction where the main characters of a book or novel are employed as an advert for that said book or novel."</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">Arthur looked intently at Sid, "Are you feeling well old friend? It's just that you sound like a bowfin and not your usual surly/humorous self?"</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">"I assume you meant boffin there and it's been spell checked into bowfin. What is a bowfin by the way?"</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0898438); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">"I feel a slight Google moment coming on, by the Author."</span></div>
</span>Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-18105040792733993482015-10-16T17:00:00.001-07:002015-10-16T17:00:24.775-07:00So FarSo far I have written about 7,000 words of Kendra and the Wolfmaster or nearly 3 chapters. I am planning to finish it in November.<br />
<br />
Today's joke is:-<br />
<br />
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?<br />
<br />
Ten tickles!Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-38653111564891171072015-09-07T15:16:00.002-07:002015-09-07T15:16:22.622-07:00New Post"Has he given up?"<br />
"I don't know."<br />
"Why is this new post called 'New Post'? Is it about the stuff the postman puts through the door every day?"<br />
"Is it?"<br />
"I don't know."<br />
"That makes two of us."Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-88571391554646668902015-08-24T08:27:00.000-07:002015-08-24T08:30:31.083-07:00Wolf MasterI am actually getting on with Kendra and the Wolfmaster. Over the past few months I have written about a chapter and a half. I am going to try to get back to my regular 500 words a day. Just stitching what I have together and typing it up. Come on people, encourage me!<br />
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Today's joke is:<br />
<br />What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?<br />"Put it on my bill."Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6953450487970595830.post-66000540975157554912015-06-01T12:07:00.001-07:002015-06-01T12:07:33.401-07:00WritingSo I actually did some writing today, 270 words! Not planning, sculpting or drawing but writing!!! Continuing where I left off from the 3rd Kendra story.<br />
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Today's joke is:<br />
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He who laughs last thinks slowest!Stephen Jennison-Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12630330314548040274noreply@blogger.com1