The Arth Series

The Arth Series
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Monday, 29 December 2014

TEABAG part 29

“Well, I could be boating with my wife on the river.”
“No, you don’t have a wife.”
“I could meet my wife, on the river bank.”
“Do you have anyone in mind?”
“Well no, not really, I’ve only been around for 6 months, and I think I’ve only seen one woman in that time?”
“Who was that?”
“The blue receptionist in the Tulox cloning factory?”
“You mean she was sad?”
“No, you know, she had blue skin.”
“So would you like a blue skinned wife then?”
“Would that mean we had light blue babies then?”
“Light blue hairy babies probably.”
“That would be a nightmare.”
“Well a nightmare is still a type of dream.”
“So am I really going to get a blue wife then?”
“No, just day dream it for now, and we’ll sort you out a wife after the adventure.”
“The real one doesn’t have to be blue does she?”
“Of course not.”
“Good, if it’s possible I’d like a green one, like the Orion animal women on Star Trek the Original series.”
“I thought you said you’d only seen one woman?”
“One real one.”
“Oh, well go on then, get daydreaming.

So Sid fell into a deep daydream, if there is such a thing, where he was snoozing in the arms of a green dwarf woman...
“She doesn’t have a beard does she?” he inquired, part way through the daydream.
“Erm, I’ll say no. We’ll pretend that green dwarf women don’t have beards, a bit like American Indian men.”
“Good, “ daydream snoozed Sid, “I don’t like women who shave, even though I’ve only met one before.”
Anyway, back to the description, they canoodled in a canoe like two Canucks playing Cadoo.
“What is your name my love?” he asked his daydreamed date.
“Arthur,” she said.
Which shocked him out of his daydream. He had actually fallen asleep and was grabbing Arthur around the waist and really asked the colonel, “What is your name my love?” he quickly separated himself from Arthur.
“Daydreaming Colour Sergeant?” asked his commanding officer.
“Yes Sir, about my new green wife.”
“Green you say? What, green like Green Eggs and Ham or green like the Jolly Green Giant.”
“No, like She Hulk.”
“Oh, I see. Because of your slobbishness you can make the tea, help us all think you see.”

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