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Saturday, 27 December 2014

TEABAG part 27

“Just say the funny suggestion that will work without breaking the 4th wall too much.”
“Can I break it a little?”
“Lift up the skirting board and make the mouse hole big enough to get through.”
“Doesn’t the mouse hole also have the shield going through it?”
“No it’s shielded if you look,” said Sid while he held up the skirting board a little, “the mice can get straight through.”
“Well then,” interrupted Ruhtra as he stepped towards them and made himself into a mouse, “let me oblige.” (Though the last bit was a squeak because he was so small.)
As Ruhtra went through the mouse hole Sid jibed at him, “Make sure Mr and Mrs mouse don’t get you,” he smirked.
As soon as he had got to the other side he turned himself back into the copy of Arthur and strode towards the electric switch to switch it off. He then turned to the others and smiled, “If I had known it was going to be that easy I wouldn’t have needed you lot at all.”
After the initial kerfuffle of Arthur staring out Ruhtra a bit they all noticed, in the centre of the room, on a podium, the code book.
“Don’t say this is going to be like the Indiana Jones type thing?” moaned Sid.
Arthur looked at him, “You mean the snakes on a plane?”
“Noooo, the filling a bag with sand and replacing the golden idol with it.”
Looking around Arthur commented, “I don’t see any holes in the walls where the poison darts could shoot out?”
Ruhtra just grabbed the code book.
Arthur screamed a, “No,” but nothing occurred to the shapechanger.
As he looked at it Ruhtra commented, “It’s all gobbledegook to me.”
“The goblin from the old White Dwarf magazines?” asked Robo Sid.
But nobody else cared to try to outpun him.
“Outrun?” said my spell checker before I changed it back to outpun.
“Give it here,” demanded Arthur of Ruhtra. When the shapechanger had complied the colonel flicked through it, it was empty. He looked up, “There’s nothing in it, it’s empty!”
Sid knocked Ruhtra on the shoulder, “Go on, give it to him.”
Sneering at Sid the Zathanian complied.
Arthur was now holding two code books, “What’s this then?”
“A joke?” weaselled Ruhtra, as one of the code books gradually started to slurp back into his body.
The shaking of Arthur’s head showed his contempt, but as he looked at this code book at least he saw there was something written in it.
“Who reads Hoo?”
“No Hoo.”
“I read a bit,” said Gunby, “my Ma, well, the real Gunby’s mother taught him/me and I sort of have a little of it still ingrained in me.”
“Can you read it?”
“Let’s see,” he scanned the first page, “it’s a recipe for bread.”
“What!” went ballistic Arthur, “we’ve been on this hairbrained mission, nearly got killed by tea pirates and Andacians all for a bread recipe?”

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