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Thursday, 25 December 2014

TEABAG part 25

The dwarf looked a little bemused, “Arthur said I can pun with you.”
“About what?”
“Lock picking.”
“I have a little difficulty with puns, different culture and all that.”
“You just be the straight man then.”
“Can I be the straight man while glooping down the steps.”
“Then I’ll be a fluid straight man.” He wobbled around a bit to try to make it funnier.
“Just pretend to be Arthur.”
“With all his pomposity?”
Sid had to bite his tongue, for he knew that Ruhtra was twice as pompous as Arthur was. “Yes,” he hissed slightly.
“Well go on then, pun away.”
“Your face when I pull this face?” (He pulled a funny face.)
“A pic-ture?”
“I’m supposed to have the punch line!”
“Well I’ll have to ask you the questions then, where’s the script?”
“There isn’t one, only an old tablet box that the Author scribbled on.”
“Well show me that then.” When Sid had showed him he asked, “Actor who played ‘King’ Kong in Dr Strangelove?”
“Slim Pick-ens.”
“The thing he used on his guitar?”
“A pick?”
“Something that I had dropped on the floor I have…?”
“Picked up?”
“Something the REAL Sid used to bash people over the head with?”
Sid was getting angrier, “A pick axe handle. Now if you don’t give me a better lead in you’ll be in a pick, a PICK-LE!”
“I say old chap, I’m only doing what you asked. Different culture and all that.”
“Here, I’ll write one down for you. You ask it I’ll punch line it.” Sid wrote something on my old tablet box.
Ruhtra read it to understand it before he began to give the delivery. “What do you call a man who chooses time pieces for customers at Tescos?”
“A clock picker?” Then Sid began to laugh really loud because he thought his own joke was so funny.
Ruhtra looked down at the piece of old card, “What do I do with this now he asked?”
I took it back, they shouldn’t have had it anyway.

So now we go back to Arthur and Plattington who were having no luck at trying to pick the lock on the old wooden door. As Ruhtra came up to them he asked, “Do you want me to slime in through the keyhole and have a look around?”
“I thought you said they might have anti-shapechanging technology at the beginning of this story?”
“Well they might do, but at least I can get you through this door.”
Arthur pursed his lips and shook his head slightly, “Go on then.”
So Ruhtra slimed under the door. They heard sounds from beyond then Ruhtra opened the door, “You wouldn’t have got in anyway,” he explained to them, “there was a bar on the other side, it wasn’t even locked with the key.”
Tutting Arthur looked forward into the dark then spoke to me, “We’re not going to leave the cliffhanger on going through another door opening are we?” asked Arthur as I left the cliffhanger on going through another door opening.

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