The Arth Series

The Arth Series
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Wednesday, 24 December 2014

TEABAG part 24

Once they had returned to the courtyard Bloin then led them to a side door. There was a sign on the wall next to the door that said ‘The easy route to the code book missing out violent encounters.’
When Sid saw it he mumbled, “The Author must have set this bit up.” He looked at Robo Sid, “You know, when we first started this adventure I thought it was really going to be sensible.”
“What are you talking to me for Mr ‘I still want the funniest punch line’,” replied the robot version of his clone self.
“Are you sore at that?”
“Wouldn’t you be? I am the AI version of you.”
“OK then, I’ll let you have a few then.”
They passed beneath the arch and started down some steps towards a door at the bottom.
When they got there Arthur tried the door, it was locked, “It’s locked,” he told the others, “Can anyone pick locks?”
“No,” replied Plattington, “but I have a book on how to do it, I was going to learn how to do it for this adventure but time caught up with me.”
“Give it here,” demanded Arthur as he held out his hand.
The corporal gave him the tome and Arthur tried flicking through it to get the gist.
“We need some picks.”
“Here you are,” sniffed Sid as he offered his palm to the colonel.
“What’s that?”
“I keep it up my nose.”
Arthur shook his head, “Picks for picking locks, not nose pickings!”
From his pocket Plattington retrieved a small leather bag, “Here.”
Arthur laid it on the floor and looked through it, “Did you actually try to pick any locks before we came?”
“The one to the medicine cupboard, but I failed,” replied Plattington.
“You weren’t trying to get to the alcohol were you? Like Hook in the film Zulu.”
“No, it was the closest lock I could find.”
“Oh, well you have a go first then while I carry on reading about it.”
Sid moseyed over, “I suppose now would be a good time for some lock picking puns.” 
“Oh, go on then,” mumbled Arthur as he flicked through the book a second time.
“Aren’t you going to pick me up on it?”
“What?”
“Pick, pick a lock.”
“Oh, very good. Can you do all the puns, it’s just I’m trying to read.”
“I could pick someone else to do it. Robo Arthur for instance, or Ruhtra?”
“Uhh, go on then,” then Arthur pursed his lips to the side and held the book upside down.
Sid decided to go to Robo Arthur, but he was in deep punning mode with Robo Sid already, and he didn’t want to compete with that, so he turned to Ruhtra who was looking at his watch.
“Is that watch real or is it part of you?” asked Sid.
“It’s part of me, why?” as he said this the watch slurped back into him.

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