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Tuesday, 23 December 2014

TEABAG part 23

So what is the next encounter? Maybe a friend turns up to help them, but who? Hang on a minute, there’s the dwarf policeman for a start.
Bloin, the dwarf policeman, woke up, after he had been tripped over by Arthur. Then he had to wait while Arthur flew around and crashed into the tree, and also while Sid got his puns in. He put his hands on his hips, “‘Ello, ello, ello, what do we ‘ave ‘ere then?”
Arthur was just preparing to order the men to follow him again into an unknown area when he met Bloin’s gaze. “Um, are you the dwarf policeman from Hunting for Squink?”
“Well done, the Author mistakenly described me as from Goblin Space Marines earlier. I think I’ve been put here to help you.”
“Well you haven’t done a good job so far, it was you I tripped over to go flying into that Christmas tree.”
“Do you want my help or not?”
The colonel looked at Sid while he answered Bloin, “As long as you don’t gang up with your dwarf brethren against me.”
“I didn’t think this Sid was a full dwarf? I thought he had some extra DNA put in him to make him slightly taller?”
This riled Sid a bit, “Are you making aspersions about my heritage?” he started to square up to Bloin.
Gunby got between them, “Come on you two, we need to be friends while we’re in this situation.”
Both dwarves looked up at the half giant and relented.
“So how are you going to help us?” Arthur asked.
“I know where the code book actually is, I visited that section of the castle when I was on a school trip years ago.”
“I thought you came from the Fantasy dimension like us?”
“As I said it was a school trip, an Interdimensional school trip.”
“I reckon the Author’s just made this bit up because he saw his friend at Monk’s Cross today,” Sid said quite quietly to Plattington.
The colonel deferred to the obvious favour shown by the Author to the dwarf policeman. “Righto, lead the way then, but make sure we circumnavigate all impassable barriers and dangerous situations.”
“That’s going to make it a little boring for the readers isn’t it?” stomped Sid.
“Well,” thought Arthur a little more as he spoke to Bloin, “you could make sure we encounter funny things and not dangerous ones.”
“You mean replace action with humour? I don’t know about that, the rising and falling of action then humour then introspection keeps the readers gripped.”
“With the way the Author writes I should think that would keep the readers griped,” joked Sid, at my expense.
“Well we need to return to the courtyard then, this section leads to the Killer Kastle.”
“...?” said Plattington.
“Bless you,” replied Bloin.
“What a waste of time this section has been,” grumped Arthur.
“Well not really,” reasoned Sid, “we’ve had the bit with the guard snoring, and you crashing into the Christmas tree with the mini aeroplane.”
“I’m not convinced,” nonplussed Arthur as he followed Bloin and the others back out.

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