Acomb

Didn't do any writing today but got an idea for another card to help the Horror deck work properly. Also got a few more card games from the charity shops in Acomb. Did start to look at the Horror deck but ran out of time.

Today's joke is:

I'm in shape... Unfortunately, it's the shape of a potato!

Easter

I managed to find what I'd done for the beginning of Kendra and the Wolf Master today. I edited it a bit and typed it in on my iPad. I think it's quite good. I also might start putting it here on my blog for Easter!

Today's joke is:

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success!

Two Cards

I have done no writing for the past two days. Today I did work out the two cards I want to put in the Horror deck though, I will play test it at the weekend with the grandkids!

Today's joke is:

Exaggerations went up by a million per cent last year!

Horror Deck

While waiting for my wife in the car I planned a little of the background for Kendra and the Wolf Master. Trying to solve a few problems before doing some actual writing. Over the weekend have been sorting out the card game, need to add some more skills to the Horror deck or make some skill defeaters.

Today's joke is:

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one :(

Biscotti

I went to the Jumblies today. While having a cup of coffee and cake I came up with the idea to add more black cards to the deck, 15 altogether. I had a few ideas for extra cards at the pastor's house then went to Waitrose with my son for another coffee. While eating a biscotti and drinking my coffee I rubbed out some old cards and created 7 new black ones. When I playtested it it worked much better :)

#FlashFiction

Made up the 11 Arth cards I needed to make 4 decks, cut them out etc, then never got a chance to play it! Played Empire Engine at last (the P&P version I made for the club) and Catan again.

Wrote this piece of #FlashFiction while I was waiting for my takeaway:

I need three other characters for the special TEABAG set I am making for the Arth card game.

"Sorry, are you speaking to me?" asked Colonel Arthur Pendragon.
"Well not really," I replied.
"My batman?"
"Batman?"
"Yes, Bateman the batman."
"The man who does your clothes, not the Dark Knight?"
"Of course, you've just got to say it correctly to understand, [bat-muh n], phonetically."
"OK then, who else?"
"Mike the mechanic?"
"That's a good one, you would need a mechanic, especially with an airship. I can also make jokes about the pop group."
"Eh?"
"Never mind, what about the third?"
"The cook?"
"Cook?"
"Yes, Cook the cook."
"All right then, that's three more characters that are not integral to the main story but are good support staff to have."
"So a good piece of #FlashFiction then, especially for #FlashFriday!"

Beyond Monopoly

I inked in Igraine and drew me but then found out that I hadn't done Battle Chieftain Arthur. So I drew him and scanned him in late last night and also formatted and printed out the first nine cards. You never know, I might get to test 4 decks at Beyond Monopoly on Friday night!

Hoover

Rested most of the day, found Settlers of Catan (one of my Christmas presents) and learned how to play it by looking at YouTube. Also cleaned the Hoover out so I can (eventually) clean out the laser printer.

Today's joke is:

A man has died after falling into a barrel of coffee, it was instant!

Igraine

Have been poorly over the weekend so done little. Drew two pictures on Friday and one today. Also read through ADC to figure out another two characters for the card game. One will be Igraine, Arthur's mother and the other will be the avatar of the Author, me!

Today's joke is:

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."

Photocard.

Yesterday, meaning an hour ago, I managed to draw one drawing. I also scanned the 7 pictures in I had done already. Tried printing out the Mystic Warlords of Ka'a,. They look nice but they're the wrong size, I also need 50 sheets of photocard!

Charity shop!

Yesterday I managed to do three drawings and I inked two in. Today I drew one and inked two in. I also read through most of the writing books I borrowed from the library, well the pieces about the internal voice anyway. The best book seemed to be the one I got from a charity shop!

Today's joke is:

People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now!

Local Library

I played NTW for much of the day. I did manage to draw two pictures though (which means I've finished the Horror Dimension bad guys.) I also took 4 pages of notes from the Creative Writing Handbook I've borrowed from the local library.

Today's joke is:

Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!

Printed Out

Printed out a box and the rules for the game I gave to the board games club. Didn't do any drawing today but did print out doubles of some of the cards for the Arth game just in case. 

Enjoyed 3 games at the board games club and lost all of them!

Today's joke is:

A day without sunshine is like, night.

I managed to do 3 drawings today, but don't think I'll have enough done to playtest it at the board games club though with 4 players.

Printed out some PNP cards.

Today's joke is:

The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

Terrible Time

Had a terrible time at the York Writers Circle yesterday.

I managed to do one drawing today and read a little of the How to Write book.

What grows up by growing down?

A Goose!

The New Year

So now we are into a new year, let's hope this is the one. Everyone hopes that this is the one, every year. We'll see, by the end of the year.

I have finished my little experiment for Christmas, 500 words a day on The East Anglian. I got 10 days ahead before the 1st of December so I would be able to do it without getting too stressed and also be able to have some time off over Christmas. I now need to work on the cover and proof read it again before I put it on Smashwords. I hope you all enjoyed it!

Today I drew another picture for the Arth card game. I might play test it at the board games club on Friday. I also started to sew another jacket. I am planning to try to do one drawing and one jacket per day.

Today's joke is:

I once bought my son a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

TEABAG epilogue

EPILOGUE

I do not want to use the word so, (and now?) And now we have come to the end, almost. Arthur and the others escaped with the Hoo codebook without being squashed or dismembered. They did however meet Richard III again and his tea pirates but they soon saw them off.
When they got back to base each of them went to see the doctor (I’ve only just realised I need a doctor character to re-enact TEABAG battles with the In Her Majesty’s Name miniatures system.) His name? Well I want it Victorian, so, Doctor Googly. I did consider Dr Google but I couldn’t find out on Google if it was a surname, it also gives me chance to make a few cricket jokes if I need to.
“Enter,” commanded Dr Googly from his surgery desk.
It was Plattington, after all we were supposed to be developing his backstory. He nodded as he entered.
“Sit down please Bombardier.”
Plattington sat down quite gingerly.
“What’s wrong Plattington, where were you injured?”
“In the battle with the Tower giant.”
“And where is that euphemism on your body?”
The corporal winked at the doctor to show him his bruised eye.
Peering through his spectacles Googly commented, “Is that all man.” He threw a tube of cream over the desk, “Here, this’ll help bring the bruising out. How did you do it?”
“It was on the tea break Sir, while I was drinking tea.”
“Try taking the spoon out of the cup in future. Next.”

TEABAG part 35

Now if I wanted a laugh, I could make the GTG get up by doing a bit of a breakdance, I could also talk about my attempts at trying to spin on my back in the early 80s... But I won't, instead the GTG (I've forgotten what GTG means? Something Tower Giant, I'll have to try to remember the first word later) it sat up, put one hand on the floor, bent its knees then started to force itself onto its feet.
“We need to try to keep it on the floor,” suggested Gunby to Robo Sid and Robo Arthur who were the only three who could possibly take it on physically, “while it's still crouching,”
The Robos both ran to the arm that was doing the pushing and together they tried to pull it back. Gunby also joined in and for a short while they managed, between them, to prevent it from pushing itself onto its feet.
Ruhtra sat on a barrel and began to polish his nails on the collar of his jacket and look at them.
“Look at him,” said Sid to Arthur, “sitting on a barrel, I wish he was sitting on the barrel of a gun!”
To no avail, (or to know a veil?) the Robos and Gunby couldn't hold back the incredible strength of the Guard Tower Giant (remembered!) It stood to its full height and swiped, with its right hand, the three of them away. The Robos and Gunby went smashing through a well-built fence.
“Is it my turn yet?” asked Ruhtra as he looked at Arthur.
“You mean you can help?” he thought for a second, “Of course you can, you can turn yourself into another Tower Giant and beat it up!” said Arthur rubbing hands together in glee at his idea.
“I don’t have enough Zathanian fluids in me to do that, I could get to the size but I’d be like a blimp, full of air, ready to be punctured.”
“Well what are you going to do then?”
“I think I’ll go for a fly,” he then turned into a small bird and hopped off of the barrel into flight.

Up, up the little bird flew and landed on the shoulder of the Tower giant. He/it then proceeded to preen him/itself. The Tower giant turned to where Arthur and the others were hiding. The right hand took a firing position and began to click. Sid got very nervous, “I think it's going to shoot us!”
Arthur looked up at Ruhtra, “What's he doing, he's preening himself!”
“You don't think he's waiting 'til the last second do you?”
“You know, I think he is.”
“What happens if he fails?”
“Let's run then,” he turned his head slightly and ordered the rest, “RUN!”
“Tur tut,” tutted the little bird, “don't they trust me?” Ruhtra flew into the earhole of the giant and turned into a slithering snake. He plopped onto the floor and heard the captain saying, “On my mark fire...”
“Cancel that order,” said the shape changer in the voice of the captain as he also formed into the guard's leader.
“I say,” said the captain, “who are you?”
“You,” replied Ruhtra as he made his fist very large and bopped the captain on the chin, knocking him out.
“Captain, Captain,” the right hand controller called through the comms system.
“Power down Right Hand Controller. I've received new orders. We need to help them instead. Are you fat by the way?”
“Why?”
“I could call you the fat controller.”
“Sorry Sir?”
“Never mind, just put your hand out near the tree so they can climb up into their airship.”
The Right Hand Controller paused for a bit, then replied with, “Yes Sir.”

TEABAG part 34

From the hay bales Arthur and the others had just about calmed down. “Righto, back to the airship,” he ordered. But first, ominously, they heard a giant creaking from the top of the Tower.
“Wassat?” lingoed Sid.
It was the top of the Tower. It began to writhe and shudder and creak and cronk. It also began to move, upwards, on giant metal legs. It was a huge steam driven Transformbot (so as not to get done by the trademark police.) When it had stood to its full height of 60 feet it swayed slightly then jumped off the top. It landed it shook the whole courtyard, some of Arthur’s men even fell over because of the shock wave.
“How are we going to defeat that?” wondered Sid, “Especially without the Author’s help.”
Gunby turned his Hotchkiss cannon onto the thing’s legs and blasted away, but the transformbot’s armour plating was too thick.
The captain of the guard ordered his left arm to, “Swipe at them.”
The reply was, “Did you say wipe them Captain, because I can’t see a cloth big enough to do that anywhere near the left arm,”
“Swipe man, swipe!” gurgled the captain at he made the Transformbot shake its head from side to side.
“The armour is too thick, even for the Hotchkiss cannon,” warned the half giant.
“Has it got a bundle of wires at the back of its neck, like a metal man?” asked the colonel.
“I can’t see, it has its back towards us,” replied Robo Sid.
“Make it turn around then, so we can see.”
“And how are we supposed to do that?”
“Make it chase you.”
“Why me?”
“You’re expendable, or at least re-buildable, we aren’t.”
As best he could Robo Sid tried to pull a disgruntled face but with what he had to work with it looked more like a serious face. He turned towards the walking tower and yelled at the head, “Your mother was a latrine,” then he started to run through its legs.
The giant tower wobbled a little from side to side and could not stop Robo Sid from escaping that way. “Did that metal man just say my mother was a latrine?” he asked somebody but somebody wasn’t there to listen to him. He gave commands to the rest of the body, “Legs turn around, give chase to that metal man.”
Now, as already has been mentioned, the fellow controlling the left leg wasn’t as experienced as the man he had to replace. He had to spin the foot around to go left, but he went right instead. The guard controlling the right leg then moved his leg and foot correctly, straight into the left foot.
“Oh no,” realised the captain, but too late, “I’m just like a rabbit with mixamatosis.”
Now I wondered how I could fit that into the way Ruhtra turned into a rabbit earlier but I couldn’t warren it.
The giant walking tower began to fall backwards towards Arthur and those with him.
“We’re going to be squashed!” whined Sid as he and the others tried to high tail it over the hay bales. He also shouted to Arthur as he ran beneath an arch, “There were no bundles at the back of its neck. Are you happy now?”
“No, not really, but I’ll have to have a heart to heart with you when we finish this adventure.”
Crashing down on top of the hay bales served to break the G.T.Gs fall. The crew were protected from harm by their surroundings. “Get to standing position,” he ordered the arms and legs.

TEABAG part 33

Gunby picked up a couple of bales and positioned them to the left. The others moved the others until they had made the redoubt (well, not really, but they used the term in Zulu and so I wanted to.)

“What’s this?” asked the captain of the guard, who was milling around with Arthur until the bale defences were complete.

“What?” whatted Arthur as both sides rallied to each other. In the middle of them both he looked every which way but where he was supposed to.

“Get over to the redoubt,” called Sid.

“La Redoute?” queried the colonel.

“I did not mean get over to the French fashion shop that does not exist yet, I meant GET OVER HERE!” screamed Sid as he brandished his plasma rifle and gestured to the colonel.

“Brandishing and gesturing eh?” commented Robo Sid, “next you’ll be basting and garnishing with all the celebrity chefs on TV, in the future of course.”

Sergeant Sid decided to let his robo counterpart get away with that one, seeing as it wasn’t very good, then readied himself to catch Arthur who was diving over the hay bales as a hail of bullets heralded battle.

“That gave me the heebie jeebies,” shivered Arthur.

“What, the diving over the hay bales?” asked Plattington as he shot two enemy guards with one round.

“No,” replied the colonel, “all those Hs and Bs in the Author’s description.”

The battle was underway. An order was given by the captain of the guard to fix bayonets. His second in charge said, “But they’re not broken, and we don’t have any tools anyway.”

“Are you second in charge?”

“Of course Sir, why?”

“Well I want you to charge second in charge. CHARGE!” he ordered the men, of whom only some had fixed bayonets.

His men bounded after him, well ten of them anyway, the ones who could hear among all the din that was being made. The captain made it to the hay bales but was driven off, in a sports car I think. This made the other attackers think twice, once when they looked at each other for moral support and the other when one of them saw the captain riding around in a completely unrealistic sports car.

The Hotchkiss cannon blazed into action under Gunby’s direction killing a few but making the others run to cover.

Seeing that they were outgunned, and after he had got out of the sports car, the captain ordered that the men retreat to the walls.

When Arthur and his men saw that they were scampering away they began to cheer.

“That was easy,” Tresham nodded to the corporal/bombardier.

But that would have been too easy.

Making his way up to the control centre the captain then spoke through a Tannoy type system (obviously Tannoy wasn’t around yet so what am I going to say? Well, maybe I could have used public address system. The trouble is though that if I had used the initials P.A. you might have thought he was talking into a personal assistant!)

“Can I get on with the announcement now Author?” he queried me.

I let him.

“All G.T.G. personnel get into position.”

His second in charge spoke back to him through the same system, “Donkins is dead, Tupple is badly wounded.”

“Get others to take their positions.”

“But the others are not as well trained as Donkins and Tupple?”

“We’ll have to make do.”

“But we might have a limp and a loose left hand?”

“I don’t care if we walk like an Egyptian as long as we kill the interlopers.”

TEABAG part 32

“I need one correctly plugged in arm, the right/left one doesn’t connect properly, so it’s useless, a bit like you most of the time.”
Robo Arthur bounced up and down a little in frustration, “Just plug me a right arm into my right arm socket,” he told the guard who was trying to help him, “then I can hit him with something.”
The other guard complied, put a right arm on Robo Arthur and handed him the other one. Robo Arthur then proceeded to chase Robo Sid, passing Arthur and even the king, brandishing the other right arm.
Now things would have gone quite well for them all except that I decided that the king (of course you knew it was Ruhtra didn’t you?) walked through a quite randomly placed electric field. As you also know, electric fields destabilise the shape changing ability of shape changers. Ruhtra tried to hold himself together, as somebody might do just before they think they can stop themselves from vomiting. He started to go a luminous green, his head got bigger, he clenched his lips together, then flubbled into a green gelatinous ooze on the floor.
“The king is dead,” cried the captain of the guard when he saw what happened.
“What do we do now?” thought Arthur.
“What do we do now?” chimed the captain of the guard (almost, with the slight inflection on the we.)
I suppose Arthur and the others could get on the Talent and escape, that would be quick. Except that I haven’t done enough words or the thing that I was planning to. How to get them there though?
One of the guards, who was a bit detectiveish, put his finger in the goo that both was and is Ruhtra, “This is not the king!”
(No that won’t work, that starts a big battle with 60 guards that they just shouldn’t be able to win.)
They need to get rid of the guards, then get found out, then encounter the [I know what and you will soon when I start writing about it] but how? Do I have my Christmas mince pie and cuppa while I think about it?
Still no ideas. So…Ruhtra managed to slime out of the electric field and coagulated himself into a green ball. It took him a few moments but he managed to form himself into a rabbit and scampered off beneath the tree where the Talent was parked.
Plattington saw the rabbit, and because we’re supposed to be fleshing out his back story, he had a little rabbit when he was a kid and…
Now Sid didn’t want the readers to have to suffer from inane babble about bunnies and butterflies so, because he was quite lose to a pile of hay bales, he nodded to the others. Arthur milled around a bit, waiting for inspiration.