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Friday, 2 January 2015

TEABAG part 33

Gunby picked up a couple of bales and positioned them to the left. The others moved the others until they had made the redoubt (well, not really, but they used the term in Zulu and so I wanted to.)
“What’s this?” asked the captain of the guard, who was milling around with Arthur until the bale defences were complete.
“What?” whatted Arthur as both sides rallied to each other. In the middle of them both he looked every which way but where he was supposed to.
“Get over to the redoubt,” called Sid.
“La Redoute?” queried the colonel.
“I did not mean get over to the French fashion shop that does not exist yet, I meant GET OVER HERE!” screamed Sid as he brandished his plasma rifle and gestured to the colonel.
“Brandishing and gesturing eh?” commented Robo Sid, “next you’ll be basting and garnishing with all the celebrity chefs on TV, in the future of course.”
Sergeant Sid decided to let his robo counterpart get away with that one, seeing as it wasn’t very good, then readied himself to catch Arthur who was diving over the hay bales as a hail of bullets heralded battle.
“That gave me the heebie jeebies,” shivered Arthur.
“What, the diving over the hay bales?” asked Plattington as he shot two enemy guards with one round.
“No,” replied the colonel, “all those Hs and Bs in the Author’s description.”
The battle was underway. An order was given by the captain of the guard to fix bayonets. His second in charge said, “But they’re not broken, and we don’t have any tools anyway.”
“Are you second in charge?”
“Of course Sir, why?”
“Well I want you to charge second in charge. CHARGE!” he ordered the men, of whom only some had fixed bayonets.
His men bounded after him, well ten of them anyway, the ones who could hear among all the din that was being made. The captain made it to the hay bales but was driven off, in a sports car I think. This made the other attackers think twice, once when they looked at each other for moral support and the other when one of them saw the captain riding around in a completely unrealistic sports car.
The Hotchkiss cannon blazed into action under Gunby’s direction killing a few but making the others run to cover.
Seeing that they were outgunned, and after he had got out of the sports car, the captain ordered that the men retreat to the walls.
When Arthur and his men saw that they were scampering away they began to cheer.
“That was easy,” Tresham nodded to the corporal/bombardier.
But that would have been too easy.
Making his way up to the control centre the captain then spoke through a Tannoy type system (obviously Tannoy wasn’t around yet so what am I going to say? Well, maybe I could have used public address system. The trouble is though that if I had used the initials P.A. you might have thought he was talking into a personal assistant!)
“Can I get on with the announcement now Author?” he queried me.
I let him.
“All G.T.G. personnel get into position.”
His second in charge spoke back to him through the same system, “Donkins is dead, Tupple is badly wounded.”
“Get others to take their positions.”
“But the others are not as well trained as Donkins and Tupple?”
“We’ll have to make do.”
“But we might have a limp and a loose left hand?”
“I don’t care if we walk like an Egyptian as long as we kill the interlopers.”

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