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Saturday, 3 January 2015

TEABAG part 34

From the hay bales Arthur and the others had just about calmed down. “Righto, back to the airship,” he ordered. But first, ominously, they heard a giant creaking from the top of the Tower.
“Wassat?” lingoed Sid.
It was the top of the Tower. It began to writhe and shudder and creak and cronk. It also began to move, upwards, on giant metal legs. It was a huge steam driven Transformbot (so as not to get done by the trademark police.) When it had stood to its full height of 60 feet it swayed slightly then jumped off the top. It landed it shook the whole courtyard, some of Arthur’s men even fell over because of the shock wave.
“How are we going to defeat that?” wondered Sid, “Especially without the Author’s help.”
Gunby turned his Hotchkiss cannon onto the thing’s legs and blasted away, but the transformbot’s armour plating was too thick.
The captain of the guard ordered his left arm to, “Swipe at them.”
The reply was, “Did you say wipe them Captain, because I can’t see a cloth big enough to do that anywhere near the left arm,”
“Swipe man, swipe!” gurgled the captain at he made the Transformbot shake its head from side to side.
“The armour is too thick, even for the Hotchkiss cannon,” warned the half giant.
“Has it got a bundle of wires at the back of its neck, like a metal man?” asked the colonel.
“I can’t see, it has its back towards us,” replied Robo Sid.
“Make it turn around then, so we can see.”
“And how are we supposed to do that?”
“Make it chase you.”
“Why me?”
“You’re expendable, or at least re-buildable, we aren’t.”
As best he could Robo Sid tried to pull a disgruntled face but with what he had to work with it looked more like a serious face. He turned towards the walking tower and yelled at the head, “Your mother was a latrine,” then he started to run through its legs.
The giant tower wobbled a little from side to side and could not stop Robo Sid from escaping that way. “Did that metal man just say my mother was a latrine?” he asked somebody but somebody wasn’t there to listen to him. He gave commands to the rest of the body, “Legs turn around, give chase to that metal man.”
Now, as already has been mentioned, the fellow controlling the left leg wasn’t as experienced as the man he had to replace. He had to spin the foot around to go left, but he went right instead. The guard controlling the right leg then moved his leg and foot correctly, straight into the left foot.
“Oh no,” realised the captain, but too late, “I’m just like a rabbit with mixamatosis.”
Now I wondered how I could fit that into the way Ruhtra turned into a rabbit earlier but I couldn’t warren it.
The giant walking tower began to fall backwards towards Arthur and those with him.
“We’re going to be squashed!” whined Sid as he and the others tried to high tail it over the hay bales. He also shouted to Arthur as he ran beneath an arch, “There were no bundles at the back of its neck. Are you happy now?”
“No, not really, but I’ll have to have a heart to heart with you when we finish this adventure.”
Crashing down on top of the hay bales served to break the G.T.Gs fall. The crew were protected from harm by their surroundings. “Get to standing position,” he ordered the arms and legs.

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