The Arth Series

The Arth Series
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Wednesday, 19 April 2017

The TEABAG Goblins 4

Vinigrette looked into the air, "Is he daydreaming again?"
But too late, for an unexpected unit of guards came upon them (now this was a bit unfair, but I was paying Vinigrette back for saying I was daydreaming.)
Ruhtra quickly turned into one of the goblins they had captured earlier. And the enemy unit passed them by without a how's-your-father.
Blintington-Smetherwick whispered out of the side of his mouth when he was out of earshot of the enemy unit, "What, no comedic repartee, but only a misquoted cliche?"


And then they were at the tower (they had miraculously circumvented/navigated their way through the heavily infested goblin camp that made up the Outskirts. Something else must have been happening, I'll try to think of what it might be later!) 'Twas an ominous edifice that emanated a darkness of pure evil. But it's maw was closed in such a way that Ruhtra would have to shape-change to get them in.


So as a bird, a tasty morsel of a bird, Ruhtra flew up to the highest point of the tower. It was through the window (protected by anti-shapechanger technology) that he saw John Shill playing a war game with a goblin. He turned into slime to try and seep through the cracks in the wal. "Oh blob!" he exclaimed, "anti-shapechanger technology!" This time he turned into a not-too-tasty slug and dived to the ground, towards the others.
The slight thud upon Tunning-Cymbals' shoulder caused him to jump out of his skin (not literally, after all this is supposed to be suitable reading for Young Adults.) "You scared me there!" he blurted.
Ruhtra shook his little green slimy head, "Anti-shapechanger technology."
"Well how are we going to get in then? No perceivable door and the windows sealed with anti-shapechanger technology?"
Ruhtra managed to morph into a smaller version of himself, (as Arthur.) "I don't know," he slightly squeaked in a higher than usual tone.
"Ideas section?" asked Smetherwick.
They all ummed but nothing came to mind.
"What about asking the Author?" asked Vinigrette.
But I had no ideas, it was late and I was tired. And so the story came to a complete stop until either I or they came up with something.


A bit of pottering around later...
"Ok?" Oied a goblin guard, "What do we have 'ere then? A British prisoner?"
"Err...?" erred the TEABAG goblins all togethErr!
"Well we'd better get him in to see the boss then," with this remark he clicked a small token and a portal appeared in the wall.
"Ooer," ooered Ruhtra, "even more anti..."
Blintington-Smetherwick budged him to stop him giving the game away.
The new goblin grimaced at Ruhtra, "Is he a dwarf or a gnome? I can't tell."
"Cheek," fumed Ruhtra as the TEABAG goblins bundled him into the tower.


Into the valley the airship plummeted as she clung onto the rail...


"Sorry, is this the same story," asked Ruhtra as I stopped daydreaming.
Of course it wasn't, it was possibly something happening to Lizzie McBean in maybe a book of the future. As I was thinking about this they all marched up an ascending passageway, passing strange blue doors, until they got to the boss's one.
Knock knock (knock knocked the lead goblin, you know, the enemy one.)
"Anter," mispronounced a voice on the other side.
As the lead goblin opened the door they saw a goblin commander inside, seated as a desk.
Now that should be a spelling mistake, but let's go with it.
"Sir," said the lead goblin as he led Ruhtra in.
"Time for a few furniture puns then," noted the smallish King Arthur shapechanger.
"Hmm," hmmed the desk-like commander.
"Things like 'table a motion' and 'you be the chair'," burbled Ruhtra.
"No puns please."
"Or what? Will you deck me?"
"That's not a furniture pun," remarked the lead goblin.
"I know, there's only sofa you can go in a story like this."
"No puns," re-iterated the commander as he shuffled his desk legs around a bit like a giant crab.
“So are those legs a steampunk addition then?” asked the diminutive one, “a bit like Loveless in The Wild Wild West.”
“The one with Will Smith or the one with Robert Conrad?” asked the desk.
“Will Smith.”
“Mmm...maybe, depending what the Author can get away with,”


(So now, because I've spent so long doing other things, I have to figure out where they are and what they have been doing.)

  • Captured
  • In the tower (of Awat)
  • They need to get to the top
  • How?
The desk commander then broke into my thoughts “...take him to the top of the tower, put him in the room next to the special prisoner.”Ruhtra's eyes expressed his hidden glee as Blintington Smetherwick turned him bodily around and forced him out of the door.
Of course the TEABAG goblin had no idea where he was going.
“Wrong way Grog, you need to be going down to go up,” shouted the goblin guard who had led them into the room.

Smetherwick gurned a little as he pushed Ruhtra towards a hole in the ground.

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