Coffee Sir?

Arthur was sitting at his desk, between takes, on the set of ‘Romancing The Drone’.

“I need a coffee Fox, “he asked his goopher.

“I’m a gopher not a goopher.”

“Really,” wondered Arthur, “I thought it was spelled gofor?”

“So two sugars and cream?”

“Yeas please my dear chap,” Arthur proceeded to put his feet on the desk and open his Financial Times.

Sid the dwarf came in. “Why are you calling me Sid the dwarf again?” questioned Sid of the Author, “Surely everyone knows who I am by now?”

“No they do not Sid. I met a woman at the car boot sale at the weekend and she didn’t know who you were.”

“As long as you don’t describe me as that again,” said Sid the dwarf, “Oi.”

“What?” asked Arthur.

“I wasn’t oiing you.”

“It sounded a bit like you were saying eyeing then.”

“What would I be eyeing you for?”

“My Financial Times?”

“I don’t know why you read that, you’re never around in any one dimension long enough to make any money at stocks and shares. Anyway you’re forbidden by the IPP Time Code from using time travel to profit from stocks and shares.”

“I just like keeping up with the business news.”

“I think it’s just part of your image, being a snob and all.”

 “What about your image as an inverted snob?”

“I thought an inverted snob was when you turned a snob upside down?”

“Oh very funny Sid.”

Fox came in with the coffee, “Here you are sir,” he handed it to Arthur.

“I want you to call me sire not sir.”

“Yes sir, sire.”

“Yes sir she’s my baby…” sang Sid.

“So is this piece of flash fiction actually about anything?” Arthur asked me.

“Not really. I thought I would get you two to perform so that new people who might read my stuff have a chance to get to know you.”

“We are not performing monkeys!” fumed Arthur.

“Well I’m not but you may be,” quipped Sid.

“Go away Sid and let me drink my coffee in peace.”

“If I freeze it for you and smash it on the floor then you can drink it in pieces.”

Arthur shook his newspaper to let Sid know that he would now be incommunicado for the next few minutes.

“ooOOoo,” ooOOooed Sid as he left to get a bottle of dwarven ale.