War, what is it good for?

Had a sleepless weekend. Managed to write another 500 words of VAE. I am trying to finish stories off that need to be finished before I start any big projects. War in the Precincts has about another 3 parts to type in. I managed to finish the second story for the science fiction smackdown on Wattpad and type it in for the weekend. I do need to proof read Kendra, it is three weeks late so far. (Somebody encourage me!)

Coffee Sir?

Arthur was sitting at his desk, between takes, on the set of ‘Romancing The Drone’.

“I need a coffee Fox, “he asked his goopher.

“I’m a gopher not a goopher.”

“Really,” wondered Arthur, “I thought it was spelled gofor?”

“So two sugars and cream?”

“Yeas please my dear chap,” Arthur proceeded to put his feet on the desk and open his Financial Times.

Sid the dwarf came in. “Why are you calling me Sid the dwarf again?” questioned Sid of the Author, “Surely everyone knows who I am by now?”

“No they do not Sid. I met a woman at the car boot sale at the weekend and she didn’t know who you were.”

“As long as you don’t describe me as that again,” said Sid the dwarf, “Oi.”

“What?” asked Arthur.

“I wasn’t oiing you.”

“It sounded a bit like you were saying eyeing then.”

“What would I be eyeing you for?”

“My Financial Times?”

“I don’t know why you read that, you’re never around in any one dimension long enough to make any money at stocks and shares. Anyway you’re forbidden by the IPP Time Code from using time travel to profit from stocks and shares.”

“I just like keeping up with the business news.”

“I think it’s just part of your image, being a snob and all.”

 “What about your image as an inverted snob?”

“I thought an inverted snob was when you turned a snob upside down?”

“Oh very funny Sid.”

Fox came in with the coffee, “Here you are sir,” he handed it to Arthur.

“I want you to call me sire not sir.”

“Yes sir, sire.”

“Yes sir she’s my baby…” sang Sid.

“So is this piece of flash fiction actually about anything?” Arthur asked me.

“Not really. I thought I would get you two to perform so that new people who might read my stuff have a chance to get to know you.”

“We are not performing monkeys!” fumed Arthur.

“Well I’m not but you may be,” quipped Sid.

“Go away Sid and let me drink my coffee in peace.”

“If I freeze it for you and smash it on the floor then you can drink it in pieces.”

Arthur shook his newspaper to let Sid know that he would now be incommunicado for the next few minutes.

“ooOOoo,” ooOOooed Sid as he left to get a bottle of dwarven ale.

RTD Done

At last I have proof read Romancing The Drone. I have submitted it to Kindle, it will be on tomorrow, or today depending on where in time you are (not bad for a Science Fiction book.) It should have been on last weekend. I have also been laying carpets all week. Kendra will now be out next weekend, I was doing a piece of flash fiction every day but something went doolally with Wattpad on the last day.

I also managed to write another 800 words for the Sci-Fi smackdown. Am enjoying it, let's hope they do.

Laying Carpet

I have finished typing in Romancing The Drone. I managed to proof read a couple of pages before I had to go. I am having to help my mother-in-law to lay the stairs and front room carpets of her new council house. Then my wife was on my PC so couldn't do any then either. Have to finish laying the carpets tomorrow and go with my wife to hand her stuff in at uni. I have put it onto my Kindle but what's the use of reading it without being able to change it. You never know it might be for sale on Wednesday!!!

Found out I had missed out the titles to two James Bond films, so ended it differently.

Finished?

Romancing The Drone: Managed to sort out and type in the end of chapter 11 and the beginning of chapter 12 (Chapter 11 was not long enough and chapter 12 was too long, they are both about right now.) Typed in 850 words of chapter 12 mostly on my wife's iPad.

Made up a 200 word piece for the Kendra flash fiction, I need to keep that going while I proof read the main book for the Kindle next weekend.

We visited Sainsbury's again today, the first time in a week or so. The security guards were conspicuously absent, probably after the phone call our friend made to the management. My wife was a lot less stressed.
Came up with the final joke of the book.

Accidents will happen

As I was crossing a corner this morning, I had just got to the opposite side of the road and this older fellow in a van cut the corner and looked at my dirtily. HE CUTS THE CORNER AND LOOKS AT ME, WHO ISN'T EVEN ON HIS SIDE OF THE ROAD!!! It reminded me of a time an elderly fellow looked at my son and me when we were on a cycle path and he thought we were on the normal path because he obviously didn't know he was on a cyclepath!

But all of that is small fry compared to the fact that while I was sitting in the car today parked outside one of my wife's pupils an elderly woman in a car knocked my wing mirror and knocked the mirror out of it. She didn't stop, well not because she had hit my car. But she did stop, down the road to buy a newspaper (and cut a bus off on the opposite side of the road.) I took her number plate and encountered her. She gave me her name and telephone number.

It is usually our other wing mirror that gets hit, at least 3 times this year so far. Why don't people stop? Surely they know they have had a knock of some kind? And it's older people doing it who should know better.

The Kray Twins

As I was having a coffee in Cafe Maia at Leeds University last week with my wife and her friend. I told my wife's friend the story of my dad and the Kray twins. He was a taxi driver in the late fifties/early sixties. The story goes that, I think it was Reggie, asked my dad to carry him around to different pubs and clubs in London and paid him in advance to do it, £10 (a lot of money in those days.) They ended up at The Blind Beggar, Aldgate East. Reggie said, "I want you to drive me home now Les."
  My dad said, "I think I've had a few too many to drink."
  Reggie said, "I've paid you £10 in advance and I expect you to drive me home."
  My dad relented and got into his cab to drive Reggie home.
  As they got to the end of the street a policeman stopped the cab.
  "I think you've had a little too much to drink," the policeman said to my dad.
  "I think I have as well," replied my dad.
  The policeman was going to arrest him but said first, "I'll just see who your fare is." He opened the door, saw who was inside and said, "Mr Kray." Looking at my dad he told him to, "Carry on driver."
(Which was nearly the name of the Carry On film that my dad sold one of his cabs to!)

My wife's friend was amazed because one of her relatives was in the Kray gang or a hanger on. He was called Bunny (I said he must have looked after the Kray's rabbits. It was probably one of them that starred in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' as the killer bunny!)