“Sounds like a plan,”
nodded Smetherwick, “now let's be on with it before we get shot at
by a ticked off bigfoot.”
There was not much cover
between the goodish goblins and the badish ones. As they zig zagged
towards the ASDAG and the outpost the enemy gun lined up on them.
“Do you think they know we're goblins?” wondered Tunning-Cymbals.
“They probably think
we're green dwarves re-wondered Smetherwick.
Vinigrette took his hat
off and waved, “Cooee!“
The ASDAG lurched a
little as it fired its payload. It fell about 10 yards short.
A definite shudder was
felt beneath their feet.
“What!“ exclaimed
Smetherwick, “was that a warning shot?”
They were a little
stunned at first but continued to zig zag towards their foe. About a
minute and a
half later the ASDAG had
reloaded and fired another shot, this time falling behind them.
“That's it,” cried
Bartram from the Talent, “we have about a minute and a half before
they reload
for another shot.”
“Couldn't we just dodge
around in the sky, make us more difficult to hit?”
“Of course, but it's
good to be prepared, and we know how long we've got before we need to
be
lucky.”
She settled down again
and looked through the iron sights at the three ant-like TEABAG
goblins.
Jamestown was puffing
heavily, “I'm not cut out for all of this zig zagging, I usually
get the
servants to do it for
me.” He was slowing down and falling behind the other two.
“Throw us the flare
gun,” said Tunning-Cymbals, “you hide behind that fortuitously
placed granite
boulder that didn't seem
to be there just now.
Vinigrette tossed him the
flare gun and the extra flare then drooped down behind the boulder.
Traiton flipped the side
door open to have a better look at what those three small green
dwarves
were doing. He cracked
his eyes (not literally, they're not eggs) to see more clearly. They
were
goblins!
This did not compute
properly in his android brain. Goblins were underlings, grunts to be
grown
quickly for war. What
were these three doing on a British airship?
The two goblins zagged
across, right in front of where Traiton stood looking at them.
“Quick zig,”ordered
Smetherwick. And so they both zigged, back to the boulder.
Puffing, Tunning-Cymbals
asked, “Do you think he saw us?”
“Two goblins zagging
across his line of sight? I think so!”
“What happened?”asked
Vinigrette.
“Traiton had got out to
have a look at us?”
“Did he like what he
saw?”
“What!”exasperated
Smetherwick.
There was a large
deafening boom as the ASDAG fired at the boulder. Shards of granite
splintered from it and rocked towards the three cowering goblins.
“Great,” greated
Smetherwick, as Arthur might well have done in this situation, “we
come all this way to get killed by an armoured artillery gun by our
own goblin kind.”
“They're not kind at
all,” noted Vinigrette, “they're trying to kill us.”
“Well we've got about
another minute and a half before they fire at the boulder again.
Another few hits and this thing will be in pieces, leaving us no
cover whatsoever.”
“How close is it to the
end of the story?” asked Tunning-Cymbals.
“I think we'll die
before we get there,” reiterated Smetherwick, if you pardon the
wrong usage of language.
“Who's the fastest at
running?” asked their leader.
Vinigrette and
Tunning-Cymbals both pointed at each other.
As he shook his head he
accused Tunning-Cymbals, “You know you are TC. I think you should
run as fast as you can after the next shot, towards the ASDAG and
fire the flare at the eye-slots, try and blind them. Bartram should
see it and begin his attack.”
Tunning-Cymbals looked
worried, “What happens if I miss?”
“Fire the second
flare.”
“What happens if that
one misses?”
A look of unbelief
developed across Smetherwick's face, “You can't be that bad at
shooting? Didn't you win a medal for it at the village fête in '84?”
“I've pulled my
shoulder since then.”
“You're pulling my
leg?”
Vinigrette also joined
in, “He's trying to pull the wool over your eyes.”
(I couldn't think of any
more pull clichés...)
“It'll have to be me
then,” thought the goblin leader, “I'm not as fast at running but
a good shot.” He pulled up his trousers and tightened his belt.
And so he waited until
the steam cannon had fired another shot at the badly crumbling
boulder. As fast as a hare running down Harehill he sprinted towards
the enemy vehicle. When he got to within 60 feet (with only 30
seconds to go) he aimed a little high and fired the flare. It
bounced, off the armour, and fell into a field, quite close to the
electric shield, with a fantastic fizzle.
He reloaded, it took but
a second and this time he aimed a little lower. The flare shot
straight through the aiming window.
From inside he heard
goblinish screams and then the side door burst open. Four goblins
scrambled out, gasping for air and unable to see properly. They
looked like green moles at a Gollum convention.
Bartram saw that the
goblin mission had been a success and so directed the Talent towards
the ASDAG.
Ann fired the front
cannon and the shells bounced against the armour. She called to the
yeti captain, “Get me near the open door.”
Traiton was still inside
his tank thing and sat in the aimer's seat, ready to fire at the
attacking airship, “A little closer,” he murmured as he set his
eye against the sight.
The Talent crossed in
front of the tank and so Traiton fired at it. A hit, upon the
starboard fin.
Wobbling slightly,
Bartram managed to stabilise her and hovered over near the door. Ann
changed to a side gun and she fired at least 50 shells into the
infernal machine. Most of the control mechanisms were bent out of
shape, as was most of Traiton. The only thing that worked on him was
his head. After a slight click he detached it and floated out of the
ASDAG., right in front of Ann's Hotchkiss cannon.
“Whoops!” he exhaled
(he looked a little like Lukas from The Sun Thief.)
Smetherwick and the other
TEABAGs rounded up the enemy goblins, who were suffering from shock
and awe, with their electric pistols.
“And now to rescue
Ruhtra,” said I and had to let Smetherwick, Tunning-Cymbals and
Vinigrette do it to keep the story flowing properly.